the hidden secrets.

Monday, May 02, 2005

juz got home not long ago.. heehee.. met xian.. then rot at lot1, went causeway.. then back to lot1 coffee bean to rot.. hahah.. then went ezah house to watch horror.. kekekz... watched twice. yesterday and today.. so funny.. laugh and laugh.. but the scary scenes really scary ahz.. xia darling sounds so tired over the phone.. hmm.. rest more kkie..? miss ya.. u owe me a date.. i don care..~!! kekekz... blehz... =P

my darlings are my cure to all sadness.. they are the ones that really brighten up my life.. they make me smile.. they make me laugh like i juz strike some lottery.. and they make me the happiest soul in my life.. the words they say.. the encouragement they give.. it's priceless.. it's precious to me... thankz xia... alwayz being there for me.. thankz xian.. alwayz there to give me the best encouragement... thankz yan.. your sms alwayz brights up my day... thankz ezah... alwayz there for me.. alwayz my listening ear.. alwyz my best medicine, my nurse..~ thankz darling.. i really love u gals so muchie.. really really very very much... without u all i tnk i may juz die and rot some where some how someday...~ muackiezZz...~!!

i'm thinking of it the whole day.. i don understand why i cried... i haf a confession to make here... this man.. is the only one capable of bringing tears to my life.. countless times... ever since the moment i stepped into swensens, 17th may 2004... started work there.. know him... took his offer on his bike on 22nd june 2004... fell for him.. till now.. it's countless countless of tears i dropped... and he's the only one in life that made me cry over and over for him.. and him.. and he's the only one that made me like him till i could do anything for him.. anything as long as he's happy.. carrying the groceries, buying him curry puffs before i go to work.. making him smile and tok... making sure he don skip his meals... clearing his house, mopping, packing his alwayz forever dirty and messy ten over pairs of shoes... letting him punch and scold... oh man.... this is something i never ever would do in my entire life.. but i actually did it for this stupid man.. and my darlings know i don like to settle down with one guy or in other words, i can like one after another very easily... he's the first to make me stop liking other guys.. he made me changed totally... i dunno why.. i dunno how he had the power to tyrant over me... anything he said, could make me feel up and down.. he may seems to everyone that he's not nice to me.. not good to me.. but wat everyone see is not the real him... cos i see the real him.. i know how nice how sweet he can be...

anyone knows he went to malaysia juz to help me get soursop for my dad..? anyone knows he came to hospital to accompany me juz becos he knows how lonely and scared i am..? anyone knows he gave me the best friendly hug when i felt so sick of life.. so tired of everything..? anyone knows he smiles so sweetly, so nicely when no other people is around us..? he cooks the nicest things in the world juz becos he knows i hate fish and vegetables.. he does it so nicely so that i won't be picky and choosy.. each time i fall, he laughs in front of his face, but each time after he laughs.. i could feel deep down he hope he could do something.. when i got burnt that time, he gave the expression i haven seen before... when i knocked my knee onto the wall on his bike when we were going to causeway point, he made sure i put medication everyday... he would send me home even in the wee hours like 2am 3 am... he'd go at the spped of 30 or 40 km/h, juz becos he knows my life is in his hands... when we went swimming together.. he'd say challenge, but yet give me the chance to over take him and win... he had never ever in his life treat anyone.. not even his sister.. but he brought me seoul garden... he had never bring any other people on his bike, and i was the first..? he is so fierce, so unfriendly to everyone.. but could still smile and tok nicely to me..? he could ignore every single individuals, but tok to me..? he may seem he don like me in front of others. but in his messages, he's the sweetest, nicest... on my birthday, he pretended he wouldn't buy any present for me.. he didn;t even share with the entire staffs of swensens... everyone tot he's so stingy and ridiculous... but in actual fact, he bought me a pair of adidas limited edition shoe... he could even got the right size.. perfectly right... considering the fact i hadn't revealed my size before... that muz took him alot of effort to either guess or gauge.. and he got color i wan.. and he wrapped it with the wrapper i said nice.. how nice can he get..? he could hold my hand and tell me juz by holding my hand, he feels that the world is beautiful.. if i haven say all these.. no one will believe this...

thinking back, i feel pain.. i used to know him so well.. and i still know him.. but i juz feel the pierce in my heart.. can anyone juz save me..? some people, u juz dun think he's good or the best man.. but he juz cannot be replaced by anyone else..

i still love my life now.. i'm contented but nothing in the world is perfect.. i have my darlings.. i have my frenz.. perhaps thats already enough..? heehee.. after saying all these, i'll not sob anymore.. cos ying tao tell me not to be stupid anymore.. cry and be over it.. so, after all thse, i hope he's a close chapter in life... sealed with the nicest memory as the label of the chapter... thankz my darlingz.. thankz ying tao for alwayz being there to hear my sorrows... =) muackiezZz to all of u... heehee... =P
procrastinated. 3:18 AM

>philosophically me.

joycie
101286
20
ngee ann poly/bs student

>dar-links.

Jeerin.
xia darling.
ezah darling.
pauline.
Joyce Dearie.
Sister Qiz.
Sister Samantha.
Persis.
Belle.
Phionna.
CheryL.
QiuYan.
Michi.
Stefanie.
Syaz.
Serve Cambodia [official].
Serve Cambodia [informal].
Gayathri.
Jasmine.
Camen.
Samantha.
Erika.
Kathie.
LohWC.
LimWC.
Jenny.
Thong Kiat.
Jocelyn.
Dzul.
Kim.
ZhenYao.
JiSheng.

>loves.

jeerin.cuzzies.family.
darlings.
him.
illogical cuckoos.
lesley six.
FHCC.Stonage.
all the kids in FGAC.
Cambodia.
the toes.
GR2.
philosophy.travel.
sea sports.music.
sea.sun.sky.

>rants.


>credits.

layout done by: caijingg.
photo by: kika06
brushes: adobe photoshop.

>song.

♥ 宇恒 - 有你多好 ♥