the hidden secrets.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

while i'm blogging this.. i'm crying.. tears juz flow incessantly...~ and wat...? the radio is playing andy lau's bing yu (ice tears) now.. his fave song.. and before i met him today, ying tao let me hear ta de bei ying (his back view)... i really dunno what i'm feeling now... i thought he's got nothing to do with me..? i tot i've got nothing to do with him...? today's his birthday... no expensive gifts from me, no luxury dinner from me.. but we went to his house to help him celebrate... he wasn't happy.. i could see from his face.. i could read.. he wasn't feeling a single bit of happiness.. wat's wrong..?? is he not happy cos i turned up for the party..? or is he juz not happy and not enjoying it totally...? i dunno... i felt my heart cracking.. but i dunno y... he sent me home... once again.. sitting on his ride, i felt the feeling when i took his first ride... then the second.. then the third.. then many many times.. countless... after months, for the first time again.. i felt weird.. i dun even know wat the feeling was... awkward..? i really dunno.. and this feeling sucks.. tears are flowing like nobody's business.. y muz this alwayz happen to me..? why can't be a straight forward.. be a heartless cruel creature...? i really really hate this feeling.. but when i got off the bike, i finally see and hear him laugh and smile for the first time in so many donkey months... but it's my pants got stuck and i fell on the ground.. although how i wish he would do the same to gimme his hands once more.. but he didn't... however.. he did the same monstrous laugh when i was sitting on the ground.. it may sounds like i'm supposed to be angry or sad that he laughed.. but i know, tt's the real him.. the him i knew.. the him i once..................... like very much.... once like..? or still like..? hahahah.. i got no idea.. i got no idea.. how do i stop the tears..? he's the man that has the power to bring tears upon my life... in anyway, i still love my life.. and i wan to keep it the way it is... unless, there may be miracles, to make life simple yet sweet and perfect..? the missing part remains missing...

There's a girl in the mirror I wonder who she is Sometimes I think I know her Sometimes I really wish I did There's a story in her eyes Lullabies and goodbyes When she's looking back at me I can tell her heart is broken easily Cause the girl in my mirrorIs crying tonight And there's nothing I can tell her To make her feel alright Oh the girl in my mirror Is crying cause of you And I wish there was something Something I could do If I could I would tell her Not to be afraid The pain that she's feeling The sense of loneliness will fade So dry your tears and rest assured Love will find you like before When she's looking back at me I know nothing really works that easily Cause the girl in my mirror Is crying tonight And there's nothing I can tell her To make her feel all right Oh the girl in my mirror Is crying cause of you And I wish there was something I wish there was something Oh I wish there was something I could do I can't believe it's what I see That the girl in my mirror The girl in the mirror Is me I can't believe what I see No....oh The girl in my mirror The girl in my mirror is me Ohh...is me Cause the girl in my mirror Is crying tonight And there's nothing I can tell her To make her feel alright Oh the girl in my mirror Is crying 'cause of you and I wish there was something I wish there was something Oh I wish there was something I could do.........
procrastinated. 2:20 AM

>philosophically me.

joycie
101286
20
ngee ann poly/bs student

>dar-links.

Jeerin.
xia darling.
ezah darling.
pauline.
Joyce Dearie.
Sister Qiz.
Sister Samantha.
Persis.
Belle.
Phionna.
CheryL.
QiuYan.
Michi.
Stefanie.
Syaz.
Serve Cambodia [official].
Serve Cambodia [informal].
Gayathri.
Jasmine.
Camen.
Samantha.
Erika.
Kathie.
LohWC.
LimWC.
Jenny.
Thong Kiat.
Jocelyn.
Dzul.
Kim.
ZhenYao.
JiSheng.

>loves.

jeerin.cuzzies.family.
darlings.
him.
illogical cuckoos.
lesley six.
FHCC.Stonage.
all the kids in FGAC.
Cambodia.
the toes.
GR2.
philosophy.travel.
sea sports.music.
sea.sun.sky.

>rants.


>credits.

layout done by: caijingg.
photo by: kika06
brushes: adobe photoshop.

>song.

♥ 宇恒 - 有你多好 ♥