the hidden secrets.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

after reading this entry, everyone may think i am a sadist or something.. i used to not be a sadist.. i used to be an optimistic soul.. someone who smile.. someone who thinks only on the bright side of life... where am i...? who am i now..?

i look into the mirror feeling i look distorted.. i smile feeling i am not actually smiling.. i laugh with the feeling of emptiness... i walk becos i need to walk... i talk becos i needed to talk... i breathe only cos it is a neccessity in life... i eat all only to know i don wan to die of hunger... i drink cos no one can live without h2o... am i okie..? of cos i am not..~! i know i am perfectly distorted....~! wat the hell am i thinking.. wat the hell am i doing..? where am i..?? where haf i gone to...? i'm dragging a tired soul........ no one can help me.. cos even me myself and i know something is damn wrong... bring me back to life...~

i wan back myself... i really do.. perhaps it's cos of the lots an tons of tutorials i haf.. mayb i'm really tired already.. i dunno.. but c'mon.. this is only the start of the battle.. (and cip sux...~! i'm computer illiterate.. pls spare me of those assignments..~! i'm going bonkers man..~! argh..~!) i gotta pick myself up i know... hahah... i ask people to smile.. i ask people to be happy.. here i am being so sadistic.. am i ok...?

please let me stop thinking of things that are not even important to life.. hahha.. do i really need love..? i don tnk so that i need another burden do i..? of cos i don...~ well well.. i wan back the simple life i used to lead. the simple life i love alot alot.. the life where i smile cos i wan to see people smile... =) hee....

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this is not me..~! this is the smile but not smiling me..~! haiz...
procrastinated. 1:26 PM

>philosophically me.

joycie
101286
20
ngee ann poly/bs student

>dar-links.

Jeerin.
xia darling.
ezah darling.
pauline.
Joyce Dearie.
Sister Qiz.
Sister Samantha.
Persis.
Belle.
Phionna.
CheryL.
QiuYan.
Michi.
Stefanie.
Syaz.
Serve Cambodia [official].
Serve Cambodia [informal].
Gayathri.
Jasmine.
Camen.
Samantha.
Erika.
Kathie.
LohWC.
LimWC.
Jenny.
Thong Kiat.
Jocelyn.
Dzul.
Kim.
ZhenYao.
JiSheng.

>loves.

jeerin.cuzzies.family.
darlings.
him.
illogical cuckoos.
lesley six.
FHCC.Stonage.
all the kids in FGAC.
Cambodia.
the toes.
GR2.
philosophy.travel.
sea sports.music.
sea.sun.sky.

>rants.


>credits.

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photo by: kika06
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>song.

♥ 宇恒 - 有你多好 ♥