the hidden secrets.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

so much so.. i became uncultured...?
so much so that i became not refined...?
how much more can i suck..?
how much more other things can i not settle..?
how much more other matters i cannot deal with...?
how good i am as an emo freak..?
how not nice i can be..?

yes.. i became uncultured..
yes.. refined no more...
i am the suckiest...
i cannot setlle everything...
i deal with no matters...
i am the best as an emo freak...
i cannot be nice anymore... not anymore...

juz how much do u know i am so stressed out..? i am so stressed out all cos of you.. you made me feel so tired.. most of the times, i dunno wat i should or should not do.. when i felt that i did my best.. i was being brushed off like some retards and some idiots.. seriously, i always do joke i come from imh (institute fo mental health) but please be kindly reminded i am in real life.. not from there.. i haf a mind of my own.. i haf my own thinkings.. i need not u to invade my thinkings and contaminating it... when i thought i did the best out of everything... wat i got from you was not the best... i am upset.. i felt i am some retards... each time we talked, i feel stressed out... there's no mutual understanding... and there's juz nothing except stress and pain.. how much more can i get out of this...? u being a perfectionist makes me feel so sick.. i cannot take the perfectionist's theories u haf.. u trying to make me perfect ain't making me feel good... and most of all.. no one is perfect.. how much more u wan me to contribute when i felt that i already did quite well.. mayb my definition of being good and urs is different.. u made me completely drained out... u drained me completely... it's more than blood draining and brain crushing... it's heart stopping and mind crashing... i feel so so so so so so so so tired of everything.. sometimes i feel like i could juz say all these to ur face and end everything.. how i wish it happens.. anyway.. i quit..~ i'm outta this...

i'm really missing ezah and xia like nobody's business.. i need my medicine and that dosage of happiness... i need that jab of smiles and i need those supplements of life... where are all of you..?
and i realised.. yes.. i do haf very very few in my life..
----in solitute or loneliness----
procrastinated. 12:05 AM

>philosophically me.

joycie
101286
20
ngee ann poly/bs student

>dar-links.

Jeerin.
xia darling.
ezah darling.
pauline.
Joyce Dearie.
Sister Qiz.
Sister Samantha.
Persis.
Belle.
Phionna.
CheryL.
QiuYan.
Michi.
Stefanie.
Syaz.
Serve Cambodia [official].
Serve Cambodia [informal].
Gayathri.
Jasmine.
Camen.
Samantha.
Erika.
Kathie.
LohWC.
LimWC.
Jenny.
Thong Kiat.
Jocelyn.
Dzul.
Kim.
ZhenYao.
JiSheng.

>loves.

jeerin.cuzzies.family.
darlings.
him.
illogical cuckoos.
lesley six.
FHCC.Stonage.
all the kids in FGAC.
Cambodia.
the toes.
GR2.
philosophy.travel.
sea sports.music.
sea.sun.sky.

>rants.


>credits.

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photo by: kika06
brushes: adobe photoshop.

>song.

♥ 宇恒 - 有你多好 ♥