-=sMiLe tHru tHe paiNs=-

2006-10-16T08:56:00.001-07:00

lovely babes + the fugly one!
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-10-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

lovely babes! =)
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-10-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

me.jenny. nice! =)
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-10-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

aishiteru, sa rang hae yo =)
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= shifted =-

2006-10-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

i've shifted.
i think this newly-created link is nicer? i think i like the new link more, but i can't bear to abandon this link cos i've been using it for more than years. i'm indecisive. anyway the new link is still empty, the layout is all the same as this. perhaps, i shall slowly switch to that. =)
i dunno to use this or that. getting indecisive over trivial things. what a waste of brain juices.

http://philosophizing-joycie.blogspot.com

有你多好

2006-10-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

<< 有你多好 >>

回家路上经过了学校
好像没有当年热闹
学过什么大多都忘了
却还记得你的微笑
关于爱情我们都想得太好
总是在伤害中才学会思考
那次分手你曾让我暂时的依靠
想起来原来你喜欢我比谁都早
我们曾经说好
爱情多不可靠
所以我们不要
变成情人好不好
如果真的遇到爱上了谁都好
记得要第一时间让我知道
记得要第一时间让你知道

想你知道yeah~
如果时间不是往前跑
你在身旁那有多好

my loves

2006-10-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

the picture says it all. =)

<<不说出的温柔>>

2006-10-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

<<不说出的温柔>>

你是否忘记了
那时候的笑容
如果我已不在你心中
舍不得为什么
你说过的以后
留下我能不能圆梦
那天空云很多
看不见你的轮廓
只剩下太多来不及说

(是我你好吗没什么事只是想知道你好不好这是我最后一次打给你了希望你好好照顾自己)

不说出的温柔
让你离开我
我以为你都会懂
等着你
我才发现难过

很难说有没有
想念过你的手
可能是我不愿去触碰
不记得本来你有没有擦口红
反正是我已经错过

那天空云很多
看不见你的轮廓
剩下太多来不及说
想哭的冲动
开始在失去以后
才等着你的手拥抱我的寂寞
该说的时候
早应该大声的说
那种认真的沉默
弄巧成拙
不说出的温柔
让你离开我
我以为你都会懂
想哭的冲动
开始在失去以后
已经擦干了泪
为何还有点痛
该说的时候
早应该大声的说
爱已经留下缺口
剩下沉默
不说出的温柔
让你离开我
去拥抱
你要的梦
别担心我
我会好好过

i love this song sooo muchie. sorry gayathri dearie and ezah darl, it's a chinese song.. really nice.. i fell in love with this song.. omg. =) it makes my day feel good after listening... =)

-= tuesday =-

2006-10-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

today i was just doing whatever i was doing yesterday, and yes i did worse than yesterday. remember i mentioned i did 100 names? i did only 85 today. i know this is bad. but u all know what? it is really tedious? and it is quite tiring. at times when i really feel like dosing off, i just wander off. to other's blogs, to tagging other's boards, to friendster and my lappy has this very evil program that made me sinful. the picasa. i could see all the pictures from serve cambodia'2005 to touch 2006 to redang... and then i have all the time and pleasure in the world to decorate them, made piles, grids and more. hahhas. sorry, i was just too big a slacker.

allow me to say that i realised i miss gayathri soooooo muchie? meet me? pls? loves. =) thos jc days came flowing into my mind again? like flash backs of a movie. i miss all of u dears. gayathri, jegan, sathiya, sherfeeq & many more... if i had a choice back then, i wouldnt have quit school and left u guys. ='(

was talking to lynn asking her for opinions on which major to choose. she said service management would be much better than any others. which i kind of feel so too. entrepreneur is not my cup of tea. marketing is just gonna be so tiring and taxing and i don need that kind of stress. HR or service? i dunno. time to think hard though.

i went to watch john tucker must die with yingtao today. perhaps i was way too tired, i din really find that the show was utterly good? i dunno. plus my mind was kind of occupied with all other things except to sit and relax the show. for the very first time, we didn't exactly talk very much. it was just plain meeting, eating dinner, to the show and home. it was like a one way communication today, he was doing the talking i was doing the smilings. don't ask me why. probably, the thought of wanting to let go is much stronger than anything else. perhaps, being the besties that we were once were, and always will be is the best. =)

just like what me and ezah darling had concluded, we might just be left on the shelves and *touch wood* if by the age of 35 and we are still single n available, then we would share an apartment and live happily ever after. backpacking and travelling, ding things that only singles get to enjoy.. hahahhas! but of course, we also agreed to be god mums for ours kids. hahahs! on hindsight, it's not a very far fetch topic to talk about. we are freaking turning 20 or 21 soon, and time will just start to fly from there.
darlings, no matter what we do, just know that WE stand by each other. always always know that we are here for one another. to my darlings, sometimes, things just don't go the way we want to, but trust in this: everything takes time, and everything may just be a blessing in disguise! loves!! =)

zZz. good nite.

2006-10-03T02:05:00.000-07:00

my piggie sister! she requests for her to be in my bloggie... hey u over there!! there u go!! nice hor?? big enough mah?? not enough i still have alot alot... blehh! loves! =)

pictures speak ot all

2006-10-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

-= no more of those footnotes =-

2006-10-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

monday is down. finally. this is the sixth week. mind if i say that i still owe my liaison officer my second log. well, it's not that i don wanna hand up. it's just that i got no idea what i should write in the log. the thrid week and fourth week were things that i've been doing in week 1 & 2. so, what is there to write?? well, keep oweing until she pesters me for it? okies, today lynn gave me like a whole stack of name cards to key in. i must say that keying data from name cards is like 101 times harder than from the web? cos, from the web i can always use the wonderful shortcuts like ctrl + c and then ctrl + v and the amazing alt + tab.
tell me where do i get all these when i key from name cards. well, at the end of the day i only managed about 100 names all in all.

sorry if i may sound a bit naggy here. if u all are a regular at my blog, u all will realised these italics at the end of every post. i'm here to say that day by day i would try to erase that part away. don ask me why. i also got no idea. today, probably i'm too blue? or probably i've already wake up from the dreams? what is the point of just hanging on to something that doesn't belong to me in the first place, and eventually would not belong to me? i've decided to try and be independent. stop holding things back for him, and myself. to think back, when i have a problem i have to call him. when i'm sad i have to call him. when i'm happy i have to call him. how willing is he to hear all these i got no idea. i just know that he's always there without fail, but what's the whole point of these? friendship? i dunno. i don wan to make myself fall too deep and hard for all these, simply because if one ine day he were to tell me he fell for someone else, or he were to come and tell me that he found the right one, i think my world would crash. and this isnt necessary to make me fall apart. i need no complications right now. probably i have to change my mind set now, that he is just a very good fren. someone who is just like my darlings, xia,xian,yan and ezah. someone who is important in life, cannot do without, but becos he is just a fren. and i should just move on, seeking the right one, the one that is possible. =)
if i wanna watch a movie, i can get my darlings, it doesnt have to be him. if i wanna haf some dosage of smiles, my darlings, my frens can gif the equivalent. i'm kind of convinced that i can never get a bf even if sometimes i need one. simply becos i have no time and i know i cannot commit. anyway, a word of advice here, friendship definitely last forever, or at least it lasts longer than what we call, l.o.v.e. =)
- if u're reading this, u know wad i mean. it's getting draggy and it's draining me. u trying so hard, me trying so hard for? nothingness. i'm not doubting how nice u are. i'm just doubting if this is what we call love. let's just stop wasting time and effort and go with the flow. let nature takes its course. what will be, will be.-
--------------------- Case Closed, Next Chapter will come ------------------

for the next exciting chapters of joycie the devil, keep coming. for now, she needs to go to lala land. zZz. nites. =)

-= perceptive reality =-

2006-10-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

went to watch 'stay alive' with xia.xian&yan last nite. i would say it's really a nice show. not exactly horrifying but it was quite gross in a way. the story is about gaming between real life and the game itself, the objective of the game is to be able to keep urself alive throughout the obstacles, if not u'd be killed. game over = u'd die in ur real life. interesting eh? i would say it's not bad. =)

last friday i was really inspired. i don know why i felt so inspired to learn some skills to enrich ourselves. i would say that i think it's better for all of us (me&my darlings) to learn some skills together than to just rot our days away together... so in the end, we all signed up for salsa class. and we are all high to shake our bon-bons. the trial class starts only on the 19th of nov, but i think we would be taking the actual class, which is every weekend. then i promised xia to takr hip hop with her. but she has to check the time schedules that fit both of us. then we are also planning to take our korean conversational class, but we are waiting for yan to get a stable part time job so that we can all go for the calss and not worry for $$$.
yups, and not forgetting our two star canoeing. but we gotta wait for ezah till hari raya puasa ends cos she's fasting now. and xian n yan to take their one star first before we all can take the two stars. bit by bit, we'd enrich ourselves, doing thigs we all enjoy togther and living life to the fullest!! =) i love u gals loads!!

today is sunday yet again. tmr is the sixth week at attachment. i dunno why am i counting the weeks, cos it wouldnt amke a difference anyway. cos i'd be going back towork everyday except on mondays cos my timetable is kinda pack on the day. tuesdays-fridays i'd still be working part time there. as u all can see, i need cash to feed myself, as well as to be able to go for enrichment classes, and also to save up for the holidays that we all are planning ahead for. (kuching? tioman? thailand? taiwan?) why not let's go to east coast to camp for a night darlings? short term goal? hahahas.
*** the tent that we saw at carrefour is soooo cheap!! shall we all fork out less than 10bucks a person to get it? ezah, it's a tent for 6men at the price of less than $40***

xia and yan darlings are on a diet plan. they are eating nutritious and lesser portion food. slimming, that's what i need also. i will try to follow if i can. but well, i'm the kind who live to eat... arhh.. it's just so difficult for me to say no to food!! but well, yes, i needa slim down too. if not, i'd be so sad with low self esteem as everyone in the group is getting slimmer and prettier, wearing all the nice clothes and i'm still so stuck with t-shirt and jeans all the time. do u all agree darls?! xian, we jia you together!! remember the 3months later thingy that we all needa show nizam with?! hees. i love u gals totally. =)

i still haven got chance to meet joyce dearie after sooooo long. mayb next week? i hope this time it works... misses her loads!!

- i miss u. tuesday? loves. =) -

0- bad.mood=-

2006-09-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

im in my office now. stoning...
i dunno, but today is a friday and i'm not exactly feeling happy about it? i was late for work today, for the first time in five weeks. and i shall not say why i was late. i just get frustrated. once in a blue moon i'm late.
once in a blue moon me & darlings do shopping.
once in a blue moon we get to eat ezah's brownies.
once in a blue moon we do crazy stuffs.

aint we once-in-a-blue-moon-ers???! hahahs!
just to be hilarious...

my daily routine is not a routine today.. yingtao is not online and he's gonna be away for a camp till sunday.. well well, my daily dosage of smiles are away.. hahhas.. but for now i haf my darlings!!!! loves loads! =)

are singapore doctors really qualified?! i'm pissed!

-i think he loves me. but he doesnt haf to think that i love him. cos i really do love him. =) -

2006-09-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

how can my hair be so messy?? arghs! it's love! i love them loads!! =)
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-09-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

all i can ask for. (=
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= heart throbbing =-

2006-09-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

when i recieved the call, i knew my face turned pale. i don't like hearing news like that. especially when it's my grandma. i have phobia of receiving a phone call and i hafta rush to the hospital. she's admitted. her condition is still not diagnosed yet. sometimes, i really have to say that singapore hospitals are so slow i think when the doctors come to attend to any patients, they would have already been suffering more than they should.

tomorrow i have to wake up very early in the morning to rush to the hospital before work. and i have to go after work as well. i just pray that she is gonna be well. she's the only pillar left in my life. i will just have to tell myself that everything would be fine. everything will be just fine.....

people whom i love always stay by me, like always. they never fail to give me words of encouragement, and they nver fail to make me feel secured.
thanks my darlings, ezah,xian,xia. =)
and you, zhang yingtao. thank you very much. every word, every gesture, everything. thank you for assuring me u'd be there no matter wat. thank you for making me feel i will have you always. i'm more than grateful, because u need to know, u never fail to make me feel more than calm. u're my solutions when i fluster, ur msges, ur calls, meant everything to me. thank you. he asked if i had enough money to take cab down, if not i could go get from him first before i go anywhere. he looked into my eye and told me everything would just be fine, and giving me the strongest assurance that he'd always be there.

-yet again, all these made me even more confuse, it's all so clear yet not. i don wan to make myself think it's the way i think but u're making me think it is. quietly u'd always make me feel ur presence.-

to my dearest sister and cuzzies: ah ma will just be fine. she'd stay strong for us, cos we all noe she loves us very much.

-= yellow ribbon =-

2006-09-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

thursday night i went to Zion road with yuhong, camen and samantha... it was great! the food there was really fabulous.. another food paradise. would love to go there again soon.. =) last nite went to yellow ribbon concert at expo max pavilion with yuhong, cedric and xian darl. hmmm, it was great. followed by supper at geylang... well, cedric drives, and it always a fun with the two of them. with lots of good food and no worries for transport home. =)

always wake up feeling good on a saturday morning, and get a little moody on a saturday night cos it's one day nearing monday. and it's work all over again. anyway, i went to SCDF open house at Bukit Batok fire Station today. it was quite fruitful cos Nizam brought us around the place. i would say it was great to explore and it didn't feel like a fire station to me. hahahs. anyway, i saw that medic bus, and it made me feel even more inspired to sign on as a paramedic in future.

i dunno where did the aspiration to become a paramedic came from, and i dunno when, i just know that i'm having passion for it. i guess the many ambitions that we all hold since young, are just dreams.. but when u grow up and gradually u'd realise wad u really want in life. many a times, there are delays and there are obstructions to wad u really wanna do, but always know that it might be a blessing in disguise in most of the case. =)

jay chou's new album is nice. i think it's really nice. especially Track 05 (Tui Hou) and track 07 (Xin Yu).

-boo! hold me tight.-

-= mid week blues =-

2006-09-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

i'm actually suffering from brain dead now. i'm ultra tired, i wanna sleep. the only problem is i washed my hair and it's still wet. i think someday i should really start to learn how to use a hair dryer and coordinate my two clumsy hands together to get my hair dry. it's a difficult task i reckoned.

dinner with ning and des at cine suki sushi. it was totally great. fabulous. i haf two colleagues that i can click really well. like we have the same frequency and all. not exactly crappy but humorous. we laughed 3/4 of the dinner time, only 1/4 was proper eating. hahhas! from the secondary school days to clubbings, to gays and anything in the world. hilarious. i would be kinda happy to have more of these get togethers. =)

yesterday was shopping with yvette darling at far east. she got herself a pair of shoes, socks, and a clutch bag. all reasonable prices and worthy buys.. =) next tuesday is bugis. we shall comb bugis area just like we combed far east plaza! hahhas. i love chilling with her! =)

tmr is a tough decision can? camen & sam, yuhong? hahahs. well, integration will do. we shall all go dinner together. =)
friday to yellow ribbon concert with yuhong. (it's not ot meet yan anymore because she decided to go steamboat with her colleagues.)
saturday is morning swim
(darlings are we going to swim together on sat morn?? are we are we are we??)
noon is to meet qin.
sunday is the wonderful day!!!
next monday is dinner with my dearest freshies. i haven met them in ages. hahas
net wednesday is get together with my sisters!!! huiqi,jieying and zhi hua! at bakerzin! cheese cake please? hahahs! loves~! =)

how amazingly the schedule gets filled up all the time. working life = busy life

i wanted to talk to jane about my timetable stuffs, but seems like something caught up with her. i wish for the best and may god bless her dad. my sincere blessings. guess i'd go to work a little bit earlier tmr morning to see if i can catch up with lynn to talk to her about it. or mayb it isnt a rush after all. can wait till before the end of itp then talk to them.

i like the working environment with no hierachies. where everyone works together as one big family. as days pass, and i get to know each of them more, i feel warmth at workplace. i dunno. i think i might not bear to leave the place in time to come. hahhas!

yingtao came to pico this afternoon to meet me for lunch. ain't he nice? yups, indeed very nice. like coming all the way to lavender just to have a more than normal lunch. well, i liked his accompany of cos, for so many weeks i've been lunch-ing with my colleagues, for a change it's him. thanks. loves =)
- wat exactly is on ur mind? would u mind saying please? u're confusing me-

-= tired monday =-

2006-09-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

the usual blues i had on a monday morning. the monday blues.
i'm glad that monday is over... tuesday would be going shopping with yvette darling after work... then if des don't have OT on wednesday, then it would be suki sushi-ing with ning and des... thats rpovided if he has no OT... or any of us do not haf OT, then it's a deal... thursday, it's either likim& yunxian darlings, or with yuhong or Camen darl to a dinner. friday is unplanned yet. my weekdays get so packed riht from the start of a monday. like.... if i wanna meet joyce dearie, it would be like next week cos we have a real packed week this week. =)
saturdays and sundays are for my lovely darlings! oh yah! i know friday would be for qiuyan! it's her off day this week.. hees.. =)

i've been slacking more than working today.. and it's getting a little tiring.. like no amount of sleep is enough.. perhaps it's because i'm still pretty sick. i don't understand the malfunction nasal spray.. neither do i understand how the cold medicine can be so ineffective! help me from chest congestion, sinus congestion and nasal congestion. i think i might just die from lack of oxygen in the middle of the night. roars!

i just got to know that pauline is in shanghai doing OIAP. thats pretty cool! lady, do take good care of urself alright? and i shall read ur blog regularly to see how u're doing there. last night when i saw ur tag, i suddenly missed the days where we would hang around at ur house and cook and chill. those were the days.. hahahs... =)

hmmm, marketing? HR? Entrepreneur? service? 2sems of core modules? IAP? OIAP? things hat we need to put serious consideration to it soon, cos we need to do our selection when school reopens on the 16th of oct.

these days i've been really hooked to this link www.cuteoverload.com and www.contiki.com these two webs kill the zZz sickness i have at work. the first one with very cute animals, from guinea pigs, to kittens, to hamsters... many more. the other one is about travelling... take time to explore and it really amazes me. =)

darlings: saturday morning swim? anyone? =)
xia darling, when u can go people's hse again, mahjong k? =)

-wad exactly are u thinking?-

-= touched =-

2006-09-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

the usual disgusted feeling i get from that irritating lady whom so happens to be my 'mother'. her rantings on how my family wronged her. how we are not her daughters. when i turn 21, i will leave and yes, we will REALLY be non-related to u bitch! one day when u learnt the truth, u'll regret for ur life. and when u regret.. no amount of apologies and regret will make up to wad rubbish u used to say about all of us. i fucking hate u to the core.

i can't wait for next week to come.. and so i can have my regular meetings with my frens.. and forget all the pains and woes i would face at home. erms. not a home.. i mean.. well.. nvm..

to my darlings: next weekend would be a better weekend.. let's go for a swim or canoe!! okays??

-yet again u made me melt. each and everytime when i think that nothingness would eventually be the answer to my everything, u would say something to make everything seems miraculous again. u apologised that u can only tell me to tolerate. u said there's nothing u can do except to lend me ur shoulders and be my punching bag.. u told me u'd be my rubbish collector... actually.. all these words are enough to make me feel ur presence whenever i needed someone to hear my woes. thanks once again, my dearest mr rubbish collector. =)-

-= affected =-

2006-09-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

throat infection. major sinus problem. a point of time when that nasal spray seems to be malfunction. oh.. save me. and spare me from being a voiceless creature.
sorry the toes... i missed the date.. i'm sorry.. is it okie to meet up next week again? i'm really sorry..

joyce dearie: please take good care. it's been a hard time on you. i love you. loads. =)

sunshine after rain. =)

-and you. i don have anymore energy to think about u and me. i just feel that somehow it will also end up to be nothingness eventually. nothing lasts. the more it applies to love.-

-= touched =-

2006-09-14T05:48:00.000-07:00

well, i got a half day off today.. actually should be MC whole day but i went to work anyway.. hahas. hmm.. my Liaison Officer (Mrs. Koh Cheng Mun) is a really nice lady i would say.. i used to think she's a very weird lady.. but she's really nice.. when she heard that i was really so sick without voice, she got so worried.. hahas. and she actually checked my profile and realised i fall under the category of financial crisis but i didn't register for financial aid.. she's so worried i won't have enough money for the period of attachment.. she says i could call her if i need money.. how nice. =) anyway, Jane told me she's been asking the finance department to give me my pay, but the lady is too busy.. hahhas.. my managers are really nice people.. she helped me said loadsa good words for me during my teacher's assessment... and she wants me to treat her if i get AD for my attachment.. hee hee.. a treat ain't a problem.. my colleagues are just too sweet, giving me the support throughout the day.. especially ning, des and aldrin. thanks people. =)

tmr is meeting joyce dearie day!! =) and yuhong might come along as well.. he's been really nice these days, words of concern and smses of care. take good care of ur throat too dude! =) dinner tmr! *it's gonna be a real weird combi with yingtao, joyceS and yuhong..!* but it's ok.. it's people i would love to dine with, and i don have much time to meet everyone on different days.. hees.. =)

i wanna say openly and declare this openly that zhang ying tao is the bestest man on this whole entire world. yes, he isn't gentle. yes he isn't lovey dovey. yes he doesn't say sweet words. and yes he always seem to be bullying me. but i still wanna say he's the bestest man. he came down to sengkang all the way from clementi just to have dinner with me. isn't he sweet? because i'm too sick to travel too far? no, i can still travel to kallang to work half day and come home. thursdays and fridays have become days we meet and it's like a needless to say thing? i dunno.
he said: haiz sianz someone sick. actually wanted to ask her to dinner.. now cannot le.
me: who?
him: you la!
me: ooohh.. still can meet la.. woodlands or town?
him: no la! i won't make u travel de.
me: huh? den u wanna come sengkang ah?
him: ok lor.. sengkang then sengkang
...............................................................
.................................................................
.................................................................
.the conversation continued till.
me: u take mrt la.. fastest...
him: don wan.. mrt must cross the bridge from school very ma fan..
me: haiyo.. come sengkang no matter wad way also ma fan de.. i meet u at woodlands la k?
him: don wan.
me: then?
him: i take mrt to sengkang lor.
me: but must cross bridge leh...
him: then cross lor.. who call u, this da xiao jie so ma fan...

*** well, i really felt happy. i dunno y. ***
and yups.. he really traveled all the way here just to eat dinner with me. and yups... we are so 'lucky' we met my mum. and he's so lucky she smiled to him. ok.. like... the first time in dunno how many decades that i see her smiling.
anyway, the point is, thanks my dearest. =)

tmr is results day. allow me to say, that im really scared. and im really worried i may flunk IEF. help! im getting panick attacks by the tot of failing it. hais.. but well, getting worried now is useless already.. tmr is results day. if fail, the most retake lor.. and im starting to worry if i did ok for all other modules. hais. im a full time worrier now. help!

-i could spend my life, in this sweet surrender... i could stay lost in this moment, forever... every moment spent with u, is a moment i'll treasure.... don't wanna close my eyes... i don't wanna fall asleep, cos i miss u.... and i don't wanna miss a thing... cos even when i dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do, cos i'll still miss u.....
u don't have to be mine to make me feel this way... cos i can feel u deep in my heart-

-= coincidence =-

2006-09-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

not a bad day, yet.. not a very good day also... sick.. really so sick...
fever.sore throat.flu.cough. combo attack.
but record breaking, cos i made it to work, and stayed till 6pm sharp.. means i didn't leave early and i made it!! thats becos i have really nice colleagues... =) i had herbal tea, and i had lozenges.. and i had moral support from all of them to keep me going for the day.. today isnt as productive as every other day, but i think being able to sit there till 6pm is a plus point.. i wouldn't have to go through those painful procedures of MC taking.. anyway, my liaison officer is coming to office to see me tomorrow. isn't she evil? cos i got mc for tomorrow.. but i still have to go to work. oh man... well, i'd see.. if im still very sick by lunch time, i'd probably take a half day off and rest well at home..
omg omg omg!!! Ning is actually my senior?? hahahs. we are both from princess elizabeth primary, we were living in the same area and we know so many people that were once our pri sch mates.. wad a coincidence and wad a small small world!!! =) it's like.. WOW! hahahas. it's fate i guess? hahahs. that we click so instantly at work, and realising we were connected long long ago! she's a total sugar at work, without her i think i'd rot and die.... u're just oh-so-sweet! =)
i would be getting paid by the end of the month! thats another thing i ought to be happy about.. because without that pay i'd soon be eating grass and chewing trunks. hahhas.
went to see the doctor.. and the doctor is just super cute CAN?! i don't mind falling sick all over again just to go viit him.. hahahs.. u all noe? cute doctors are the most irresistable ones!
*ezah darling will noe wad i mean by that! rite? hahhas!*
i din get to meet joyce dearie.. so sad. but it's okie.. it's either tmr or friday i'd meet her for dinner.. and then next week would be meeting yvette darl for dinner. =)
and also, i haven been able to meet up and chill and stayover with my dearest sisters huiqi,jieying and zhihua!!! i miss u gals loads!! CAN?!??! hahhahas. met up soon girls! =)
and my darlings... hahahs. ezah, i don think i can go swim on saturday already.. u noe y? cos i'm gonna be too sick(cos i wanna see that doc again) to swim anytime soon.. perhaps next week k?
working life is just too boring.. the attachment is just sooooo making me n ning's theory of working life = no life so true. but it's okie.. we can find time in the midst of business to meet people for dinner.. and have nice people for most of the days in office.

alright, i'm just so craving for mahjong i dunno why. yes, soon please?! =)

-boo! are u angry with me? hahhas. yes i know u're not pety.. but yes i know u are angry with me. well, angry? or is there a stench of vinegar over there my dear? you told me it's army days u're worried for. am i supposed to wait? wat will be will be. all i know is, u're the one i never wanna let go. i love ya! my dearest mr. rubbish collector =)-

-= ironical =-

2006-09-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

how ironical people can be....
has loadsa money but worry for money...
has the looks but worry for their beauty...
has a job but worry for their rice bowl...
has a boyfriend but worry for their love...
has a girlfriend but worry for the bond...
has a life but worry for the ups and downs...
has friends but worry they would leave...
isn't poor but think they are.
isn't ugly but presume they are.
isn't jobless but think that pay could be better somewhere else.
isn't love-less but hallucinate their partners would leave someday.
isn't a beautiful life, but a fruitful life!
isn't lonely, it's the attitude.

many a times, it's the attitude of how we view life.. how we want our life to be.. how we wan to lead it, how we prefer to love it... it all boils down to the word A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E.
how ur life would be counts on ur attitude. =)
so, lead a life with positive attitude, and u'll find that life can be as beautiful as rainbows, as lively as birds. thats L.I.F.E.

-= long long ago =-

2006-09-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

it's been some time since i last blogged.. working days are really freaking tiring... other than work, it's still work and work and work.. i have little time to meet my frens, and all i see everyday are my colleagues..
but well, they are really nice people... my managers are really nice, Jane and Lynn... fun loving people, no generation gap, and they mingle with us like good frens instead of superior-subordinate kinda relationship.. then there's aldrin who is always so eady to share and guide us when we needed help...
and then there's my two goodie goodie frens ning n des... we are the youngest in the whole company and we happen to click kinda well. lunch-ing together, chilling together... msn-ing each other during office hours.. then there's ever non-sensical mr. rubbish.. hahahs. u all brighten my days though. thanks people, for not letting me dread my attachment.. in fact, i think i kinda love the place. perhaps, all the trouble that i dread before the attachment, was redundant.. it's all a blessing in disguise.. changed from the bank to this company, and met nice poeple, lose my job at kodak cos of this attachment, but they offered me a better deal... my manager spoke to me today.. she said she and lynn liked my performance and they are trying to get theor best team on form to come up with a big enet, their goal... and im part of the team, that would mean even after attachment i would hafta go back to help out and i secured a part time job indirectly... after all, it's a blessing in disguise..
just like wad ezah darling love to say, it's a blessing in disguise!! well, i kinda understand this theory more now. and yups, everything is destined and has its own time.
i would say i learnt quite alot from this attachment from start till now... they are ever willing to share, ever willing to teach.. and everyone work together like a big family.. there are no hierachy and this is wad makes me feel the best.. no stress, no pressure... =)
even though me, ning and des hate mondays... and we dread wednesdays... but we always get real high on thurs n fri.. hahas.. we're all working real hard for a common goal. =) OT OT OT, but it's fun isn't it? i salute des for the record breaker... he even OT on saturdays and sundays! *kudos* im not as hardworking.. weekdays' work is killing enough... hahahs.
well, anyway we have a date on wednsday to have a feast together.. and we hope we won't have to OT so that we can dinner together..

tmr i have a date with joyce dearie.. sorry for keep postponing the date dearie! =) dinner... dinner dinner!! missing ya loads! it's been some time since we last met...~ loves.

headache, fever, cough, flu.. it's all on me now.. but i cannot take mc... hahahahs.. well, i guess ITP is like that.. not that i can't take mc, but i don wan to go through the necessary procedure.. it would be more dreading than draggin myself to work.. i can survive through with panadols and my flu pills. =)

i miss my darlings... little time to meet up.. everyone start to have our own commitments.. meet up soon ya??!?! we know each other's presence by faith, and not by face.. so even though we may not see each other often, we noe we are there for each other... rite?? =) missing u gals loads!

-i can stay awake, just to hear ur breathing.. watch u smile while u are sleeping, while u're far away dreaming... i don't wanna miss a thing... about you.. i can never have enough of you. each morning, ur greeting is a dosage of euphorin. u stayed by me through those really hard times. when i cry, u're that shoulder. when i'm depressed u're my comfort. when i'm happy, u're my angel. when i'm angry, u're my punching bag. when i grumble, u're the rubbish collector. when i'm in pain, u're my panadols. when i'm sick, u're my antibiotics. when i go high, thats when u're that surge of euphorin. u never did leave me for as much as i thought u would. =) i love you, sorry, but very much.-

that part time boy who never fail to make me laugh. total dumbness! =D

-= i wanna grow old with u =-

2006-09-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

[grow old with you]

[Billy Idol (Speaking):]
Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet,
moving up to thirty thousand feet,
and then we got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas,
and right now we're bringin you some in-flight entertainment.
One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song inspired by one of our coach passengers, and since we let our first-classpassengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.
[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

sweet song isnt it? every girl's dream. =)

-= good day =-

2006-09-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

cheerios!! woke up latest in the whole period of attachment, and got into the office first today!! hahahas. as usual though.. im always the first in office... =P but it's ok la... when im the first, i have time to blog like wad im doing now. =)

good day..!! cheerios..!! i woke up feeling good, even though i am rather sick now. down with cold and flu and headache... watever the sickness is, im feeling kinda good.. i dunno why though.. hahhas. =)

i anticipate to have a good day, and i hope it will be... but it's a rainy day again.. i guess i have learnt how to accept rainy days.. those who know me well know that i hate rainy days.. and my theme song for rainy days is: show me the meaning... of being lonely.... ~
today, this tune didn't come across my mind.. maybe, that's a good premonition? =) that now im a happier person? perhaps..

-i'll learn to let go, just like i always have to.. but it's ok.. i guess, thats part and parcel of life.. someone told me, if two person cannot get along, wat's the point of hanging on? and when u wanna forget, say and do it.. don say u wanna forget and still keep bits and pieces in the mind for urself to hang on to it, hoping that something miraculous would change. it's all mind games, all controlled mentally.-

2006-09-03T08:05:00.001-07:00

nice one.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-09-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

the group.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-09-03T08:04:00.001-07:00

aint they handsome...? hahahs
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-09-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

i love this pic. lols me and xian...
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-09-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

nice one~
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= weekends gone =-

2006-09-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

just when i thought thank god it's friday,
today is sunday, yet again...
which means tomorrow is monday, work....
hahahahs. not that i don't like the work, just that weekends always end so fast and weekdays are always a dread..
one week down, 6more weeks to go in attachment.
jia you everyone in attachment. =)

fruiful sunday. went to RSAF open house at Paya Lebar Air Base.
i would say it was totally great!
gotta know more of RSAF, went to take lotsa pictures with the crafts,
most of all, we took picture with the Apache...
F5, F16.. the simulator rides.
and with the right companion,
ezah,xian,lao da,nizam. it was hot but it was worth it.
then to nizam's cousin's weeding.. then to TM... then home.
here i am blogging, then off to bed, then tmr is work.
all over again.

i've been thinking very much about joining the Navy.
the navy's paramedic especially. after thinking for so many years,
i told ezah that i will join the navy after diploma. then at least i won't have to worry about income, and i can do wat i wanna do, while fulfilling my dreams and passion.

-it's been on my mind that i shall just let go... bit by bit i can let you go... it's just this little bit of you left in me that i dunno why i am hanging on to... perhaps perhaps perhaps...maybe maybe maybe... i tell myself, someone better would come along.. but, im just an unwanted mimosa, after all.-

-= letting go, bit by bit... =-

2006-09-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

-when it's time to let go, i will... letting u go, bit by bit...
let go, letting go, let go... as blue as the rainy days lately...-

-= past few days =-

2006-08-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

Friday:
Exams down. fun fun and more fun.
went to lavender to see my attachment place.
not bad was the first impression.
went to 2HOT cafe at esplanade.
with xia,xian,ezah,yingtao.
it was great, especially with them. =)

Saturday:
went to singapore polo club to see erika's competition.
she got 1st place with her team mates. =) congrats.
then was dinner at swensens. and home.
was feeling sick and fever. must be the late nights!
and i missed stay over with sisters huiqi, samantha and sua.
postponed to next saturday. looking forward to it! =P
sorry sisters.. loves.. =)

Sunday:
went for the green environment week eco race.
with ezah, shuo lun and brandon.
it was great! and it was a great experience i would say..
with brandon who refuse to accept the fact that he didn't win the bike,
and shuo lun who kept thinking of the saga tree that we didn't manage to find.
hahahhas! they are two fu people. ezah, more races please? lols.

Monday:
the start of attachment. netremedia pte ltd.
not bad, the people are nice and the work scope is manageable.
not too stressful, but too relax also.
i'm sorta in charge of the handling of online registration for this event called
'SMB Exchange 2006'.
gotta learnt quite alot of new things like on-demand services, which are the SMBs in singapore and so on... i think i will gain quite alot from this attachment even though im quite underpaid.
hahahs. the people are nice, all young and energetic people who are my supervisors and managers. well, hope this remains the same, and my attachment would be fun-loving. =)

Tuesday:
second day of work, more work load to come, but enjoyable. rather flexible company, we have quite a bit of freedom with msn-ing and web surfing. not bad not bad. just that i start to realise that just sitting there and working ain't easy, it can be quite draining and quite tiring as well. last night i slept at 10pm like i've never did that in million years...!! 10pm zZz 6am wakey.. it's so secondary school days which i almost forgot how it feels like.

my sister's china friend has been here for us for about 3 or 4 days already, tonight is her last night with us, and she's gonna go back to china soon.. a very sweet and pleasant girl. the wrong perception of china girls should be changed, because after clarifications with her, she did mention that China is too big a country that different provinces have different education system, different up-bringing, different mindsets and different personalities. there are places in china where the traditional beautiful culture remains. enlightenment. =)

i wonder how the toes are doing in their attachment. yvette darling, everything ok?? joyce dearie, everything ok??

***in days where i needed someone the most, the days when i almost collaprsed and thought i would never be able to stand up firm and strong again, u all stood by me. all the time. my darlings:xia,xian.ezah.yan.yingtao. my cuzzies. my family. i love u people loads. cos i know without u all, i wouldnt have made it so far. there are times when it gets so depressing that i dunno how to deal with everything, but u all talked sense, made me felt comforted and i just know i have all of u by my side. =)

-away away away... absence makes the heart goes fondler. the distance never make me stop thinking of you... am i the only one thinking of u here, or even for a split second i would cross ur mind when u're over there? it's not exactly very long that we haven met, and it's only today we haven msged, u left for genting yesterday and all u said was take care. i could only smile and know u'd enjoy, and i hope u do... why do i have to fall so hard and deep for you? it's not gonna work out, the way it seems to be, we're always gonna stay like what we are now, and nothing's gonna change. perhaps, it's time to just move on because, i may just be the same as anyone whom u flirt with. suddenly all these come rushing to me, and since u can't be really bothered by who we are to each other, why should i care so much? i will let go, bit by bit...-

2006-08-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

i love this pic loads. tuck in... at 2HOT at esplanade... the food is REALLY VERY NICE!! find the right companions and u'll love it!!
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-08-29T06:23:00.001-07:00

i love this pic just like i love her.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-08-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

can u see we are so in love?
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-08-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

still spastic. more than ever... loves.. more than ever... darling, im always here for you. always... be strong.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-08-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

spastic us.. loves... =)
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= two down =-

2006-08-22T07:35:00.000-07:00

two down.
three more to go.
PMKT. IEF. AAA.
i don't know how much longer i can survive through these late nights and mugging shit. all i know is i have to do it. the only time i breathe is when i come here to blabber and vomit. friday please come soon. because i need freedom. liberation please?
waking up, studying, studying, taking paper, studying going home, studying, sleeping.
and the cycle goes on.
OM was quite ok. well, efforts pay off.
i love studying with yvette darling. it's just stress-less yet productive. guess we study well together. we should motivate each other more.
nothing is in my mind except pmkt now.

congratulations and celebrations to jeerin for passing her maths. glad to know that. to you: told ya practice made perfect! jia you! loves.

yups. i miss people whom i haven been seeing due to this tormenting period of time called the exam period. procrastinating, yet again. hahas. wait for my return my darlings! loves.

- it kinda makes my mind free from you when i'm busy, like now. perhaps, it isn't that difficult to let you go? i dunno. it seems to me it's not gonna work out the way i think i want it to be. perhaps we should just stop being too nice to each other and keep each other hanging there. u said: if i can ignore you, i'd have done so long ago. if only i could, but i can't! what does this mean? i dunno. when it's time to let go, i wouldn't hesitate. and it seems to me, there are so many people liking you the way i do, u have got many choices to choose from. i should start looking for choices too, if my heart wouldnt stay glued to urs, like now. misery. -

-= zero motivation =-

2006-08-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

the thing with me, the problem with me now,
is i have zero motivation.
Z.E.R.O motivation.
Z.E.R.O drive.
to start studying properly and productively!
arghs!
all i want is productivity, and efficiency.
all i have is slacking and slacking.
rubbish!

exams please be over soon?

-i think i miss you quite badly.-

-= sway =-

2006-08-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

EC down. finally!!
i would say it wasnt that bad, at least not as bad as i thought.
but the diarrohea was kinda driving me crazy cos i wanted so much to kiss the paper goodbye and flee to the toilet. and so i did. i left within an hour and fifteen.
i just hope i will pass my paper. that is it.
OM next. and then PMKT. and IEF and AAA.
time please fly pass me.

Happy Birthday To Jeerin!!!
sweet 15 my dearest. =) muackies!

i had a great day yesterday. celebrating ah mei's birthday at ah ma's place. everything was perfect except that PERSIS DIDN'T COME! she had to take her O's Oral. u're pardon! hahahs. next time we shall meet again. hees. loves! yingtao was there too. he was the entertainer of the day.. entertaining may and royce. playing uno stacko and doing forfeits.. now that the whole family loves him. hahahs. hilarious. yes, and i love you, every bit. wad do u say?

i had a wonderful time yesterday. it was purrrr-fect. u're just purrr-fect.
everything was purrr-fect until i had to get back to my books. hahhas.

-thanks for always being there. i know i'm always a trouble. i'm evil, but i'm the 'goodest' to you. (i accidentally said gooder when i wanted to say better and he made fun big time. so now the best in my dictionary has been changed to goodest). is it everything else except status? i would think it's ok because i can see u dedicate all ur time & effort. sometimes, when there's no commitments, everything would just seems soooo purr-fect. at least for now, everything is nice with u around.-

this song makes me sway... and i love it soooo muchie! it's addictive. i'm addicted.

-SWAY-
When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me
Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have the magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now

When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more
Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me

When marimba start to play
Hold me close, makes me sway
Like an ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more
Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me

-= ec sux =-

2006-08-17T10:09:00.000-07:00

wtf man. can i please say that EC sucks to the core?
all the computer applications module in BS is simply waste of time.
first was CIP. then BCA. now EC.
wtf man!
the worse thing is i dunno where to start studying for EC. it's not that i don wanna get started. it's just that i have no idea HOW. i don wanna fail and repeat that pathetic module, thats for sure. but how on earth can i pass it if i know simply nuts about it? oh man... irritated. someone please just be kind to teach me wad to do. sobs big time.
PMKT isnt a big prob cos i think i've finished most of it.
im starting on OM and IEF this weekend. i'd run through all the tutorials for OM and make sure i know the calculations. and as for IEF. it's another headache. help!!! AAA should not be a problem though, one of the modules that i have confidence in passing.
exams are tormenting. i just hate it. and i procrastinate the most during this dreadful period every end of a semester.

on a lighter note, i watched CLICK. with yan darling, yvette darl, and jenny.
i would say the show is fantastic. hilarious, touching. recommended. =)
pastamania was a great craving this afternoon and i satisfied it with marinara, linguine.
probably the best thing that made my day.
to yvette: cheerios darl! smiles. =)

dinner at xian's darling house was great. nice hanging out just being potatoe couches, couch potatoes. watched Singapore Idol Results together and then we were all like saying the systems kinda sucks. how can voting stand a higher percentage in deciding who's going home? it's like DUH!!? Mathilda is out?! and they actually keep those that i think should have packed and be gone long ago... like jasmine tye is still in it?! ( this is said so cos i watched her sing SpiceGirl's 'Wannabe' on youtube and i felt like laughing great time. i missed it on tv and when i saw it, i find it hilarious. ) ridiculous. anyway, that Singapore Idol gonne-be won't make it far. way too low standard. with people like ken lim as judge? laugh it off man.

-you make me wanna call u in the middle of the night, u make me wanna hold u till the morning light. u make me wanna make you, just mine.-

-= new blog =-

2006-08-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

new blog skin again.
inspired by yvette to change.
hahhas!
i know i should be studying hard at this very moment.
but i hate EC man! not only nothing goes in..
i have no proper notes, i don have a textbook.
wat's worse? the lecture notes in mel is as good as not having them in there.
wth. i think i would really have to think of wat to do with EC man.

i inspire to do PMKT and OM tonight. after i blog.
tmr morning would be OM.
meeting yvette darl at 9am.
screwed up NP always giving people last minute notice! arghs!
tomorrow is studying day + CLICK! with yan darling in the late noon.
and dinner with xian darling.

how i wish that 5 days would fly pass NOW.
fat hope.
i gotta be good to study.

-keep me hanging. i'll hold on till u say stop.-

-= studying starts =-

2006-08-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

i must say i have been slacking these two days..
arghs..
tmr is studying with yvette darl, and janel.
i want it to be productive!!!
EC and OM.
AAA. if possible.
i hafta do it!!! =)

was a listener for a friend just now, he told me the problems he's facing in his current relationship. then i realised, commitment isn't something that is easy to achieve. it takes two hands to clap. many a times, people start to take each other for granted. they were good frens, just when they got together things changed drastically. why is that so? i didn't give any advice, i was just a listener.

studying studying studying..

and yups.. thanks darlings.. i know all of u care! muackies! =)

-= i miss you, daddy =-

2006-08-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

if by calling you a million times and u'd come back, i'd call a trillion times.
if by crying and it could wash away my pains, i'd cry my lungs out.
if by writing ur name a thousand times and u'd be back, i'd write a few million times.
if by thinking of u once a day and u'd sense it, i'd think of u every single second in my life.
i miss u daddy.
pardon me for being missing u every second in my life.

i cried. because i miss u so much.
every fight, every quarrel i haf with her, it reminds me of how u tolerated her.
the more it makes me stay strong, as i promised i would.
the thought of you never fail to make me weep.
i promised i wouldnt cry anymore and i would be a strong girl, before u were gone.
but i only tear when i think of you.
in front of HER, im strong. i'd never weep, even if she dares to whack me one day, i wouldnt drop a single tear.
daddy, know that i love you. truely.

YingTao accompanied me from early morning to the wee hours.
we met in school. i studied he slept.
we went for lunch.
and movie.
and dinner.
and we went anywhere aimlessly cos i din wan to come home so early.
i cried in the bus.
he hugged, he comforted. but he said nothing.
he was sick. very tired. yet he accompanied me throughout.
i wanted him to go home first.
he held my hand and we boarded a bus that brought us to bukit timah.
we went to orchard from sch. and back from orchard to bukit timah.
we went to courts. we went to plaza.
aimlessly. quietly he just stayed by me.
he didn't ask much. but i know he knew.
he just could read my mind that i didn't wan to go home yet.
i'm thankful. i'm grateful. i love you.

the kind of feeling where u know u like each other. but there isn't any clarifications. but we stayed there for each other in times of need. in times of pain. the way he tries to oblige to whatever needs i have. thank you very much. may i say i really am falling deep for you? may i say i'm totally into you? even if u might never say the magic question, nor the magic words, even if u are gonna insist we are very very good frens, i'm just thankful i have you.

and my darlings, who never fail to stay by me. and my cuzzies. those who stay by me always. thank you. and most of all JEERIN who is going through everything that i'm going through. we have each other always! the pain will soon be gone. loves. =)

-= fireworks =-

2006-08-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

fireworks was nice.. totally glam...
captivating..
i like it..
most of all, i had all the wonderful people in my life with me to see those sparkles.
sisters huiqi.jieying.zhihua.
darlings xia.xian.yingtao.
it was really a great day.

i guess everything don go well for me.
i will never have a happy moment..
or rather.. i will never have lasting happy moments..
don't i deserve any?
perhaps...

life is living hell.
or rather... where i am having shelter now is a living hell.
i will leave..
yes, i dont have parents... how sad..
hahas. but it's ok. cos i know i have people who will always stand by me.
i will cry no more.
for no matter how much i cry, the pain will always be there.

from the bottom of my broken heart, i wanna say..
i miss daddy.

-= blessed =-

2006-08-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

first and foremost, im no longer attached to that international finance place.
i'm attached to PICO CREATIVE.
according to yuhong it is a better company.
events management. IMF.
but the pay is simply pathetic. i'm gonna be so underpaid!
$450 a month! omg. i hope i benefit aight.

had a pretty messy day. total mess out. NP screwed my day up.
first to collect new attachment letter.
then need lappy but i was already out of house.
then i mass sms-ed my darlings that im so sad things always get screwed on me.
things always don go my way.
things dun go the way i anticipted it to.
but well, wad to do?? thats life.

but i gotta know i have really nice darlings in life.
they stood by me. through all the pains.
without fail.
everyone i sms-ed responded to me almost immediately.
with care and concern.
thanks darlings!!!

i needed lappy, yingtao brought it for me despite the fact he just reached home from school. thanks alot. y do u still do things that are so troublesome? u offered to bring it, i didn't ask for it. did i? u really dont haf to do it. anyway, thanks alot. =) u're appreciated. greatly. loves.

thank you yuhong for the 'tang yuan'! hahahs. we didn't get our tang yuans though.. hahhas! we only went chinatown. our usual hangout.. had dinner.. walked walked walked walked... to fullerton to use the toilet.. as usual.. hahahas!! just a very normal hanging out, but it somehow made up my day after all the messing around. thanks yuhong! joker. lols.

did i mention? having joyce dearie is a total blessing. she always appears when i need a hug badly. and did i mention? she never fails to cheer me up. she's a total sugar. i love you dearie!!

i met the toes. we din catch up alot. but it feels good with them around in school. =)

exams are so coming man. i gotta study real hard soon.

-= that painful answer =-

2006-08-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

i've got an answer out of everything after sooo long of guessing.
'a very very good fren'
indeed.
i dont see the reason to be sad for this answer.
but, it just hurts.
i dunno.
suddenly i feel like crying.
hahahahs.

'sometimes when frens get too close it's hard to haf the kind of special feeling.'
*ouch*
but it's ok.
think this marks the start of getting a new life?
i should indeed start to get something more realistic.
perhaps, i just wouldnt get love.
eventually, i'm still unwanted.
after all.

i don't blame him though. who would haf that kind of special feelings for me?
joycie should start to get a life and stop holding someone back.
get a life! =)

i still have my darlings&dearies&sisters my jeerin, my cuzzies and my family.
perhaps, that would always be all that i have.

-= Cambodia. the kids. FHCC.Stonage =-

2006-08-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

i miss roth chearn..
today i was taking the long rides from the east to the west as usual.
i was so bored i started to look at old smses in my phone.
some of it were from cambodia.
i realised i miss the kids SOO MUCHIE.
and i miss FHCC.Stonage VERY VERY MUCHIE.
sister jieying.sister huiqi.sister zhihua.
although i get to see them sometimes in sch...
but then.. it's like hi-bye...
i hope we would be as high as ever when we meet up.
sisters..... i miss u all..
hold me for a while....

volita.rachel.chantha.noy.rothcearn.sokhai.pohlla.therng.kannan.little aaron. everyone in FGAC.
IMISSYOU!!!
JIEYING!! HUIQI!! ZHIHUA!!! where are all of u?

exams are coming..i haf to buck up. soon.

-= ONE STAR KAYAKING CERT =-

2006-08-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

i've got my one star kayaking cert!!
i didn't anticipate i would make it.
i thought i would just gif up half way...
but i made it anyway..
with the moral, physical and mental support of my darlings, xia and ezah..
i had a wonderful weekend with my darls..
and i really love it.
i think i managed to clear the course cos i knew i had u gals with me no matter wad. =)
and i really love kayaking.
i wan my TWO STAR! thats my next goal.
I LOVE MY DARLINGS!!!!

to xia: darling, yes!! we all made it.. take good care of urself alrightey?! my darling here made it through the course even though she had a bad flu and she was having fever on the second day of the course. isnt she power?! she's power lady! =) if there's a will, there's a way. i take swimming course with u okk?? love ya loads. =)

u drain me. i hate you! so much!! all u think of is money. hey lady, u stink! every bit of u made me feels disgusted! daddy made the wrong choice. feel happy he did regret! i hope u leave my world someday! i so hope i can move out of this living hell. living hell! YOU MAKE ME DREAD LIFE EVERY TIME I SEE YOU. getting home early would always mean fights and quarrels! ain't that tiring for you? and u noe wad?? u asked grandma to tell me to work after my poly so that i can gif u money?? DREAM ON! u noe why?? have it ever cross ur mind that i would leave u in the lurch just like wad u did to my daddy and my grandma??? fat hope that i would take care of you man. go and depend on that filthy man! foff!

sorry. i was just ranting. ignore those explicit parts.
no worries. i think i would be able to love life as always. deleting and formatting these irritating parts of my mind. i haf better things to focus on. at the very least, i know there are people who never fail to stand by me. darlings. ah ma. xiao gu. korkor. joyce dearie. the toes. piggie.
people who means alot to me in life. thinking of u all makes me stronger. =)

jiayou for ur test tmr piggie!! tues!! =) imissyou. very much. =p

-= cheerios erika! =-

2006-08-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

today i overslept and i missed EC revision lect.
i was reprimanding myself,
but when i reached school, i saw erika, she didn't go as well.
then we were waiting for our GOD to open the classroom.
did i mention who is our GOD?
he's none other than our AAA tutor Mr. Tan.
omg!!! he's the best tutor ever. not that he is spoon feeding us,
but he's always teaching us every single details so that we understand thoroughly.

gotta know that EC lect was crap and rubbish. a blessing in disguise. hee =)
AAA was great as usual.
erika said she is happy today!!

we went for lunch at lucky plaza! omg! it's really nice alrite?
like jas dar said, her recommendation can never be wrong!!
hahahhas!! and yups, erika gave us a treat!!! hees.
thanks darl once again! =)
then she helped me with my EC online quiz and got 90 put of 100.
thanks my dearest powerpixie! yet again.
it's cheerios erika day!! =)

the toes rock big time!! and sam! when can u not be missing in any of our outings?
8th aug please come soon so that jas darl dun haf to fast from green tea anymore, sam and camen darl can start eating regularly. erika and i can stop being sinners. hahahhas
loves! =) poly has become wonderful because of u gals.

tmr is canoe day! i shall slp early and rest well. tmr is gonna be a long day.... but im excited! cos i will see ezah and xia darlings!! loves!! =)

i'm blessed to have this job. the people there are nice.. there ain't polictics, and wad more? the boss and the lady boss are great people!!! today i went in late. i was supposed to work at 3 but i msged to say i'd be late and will be going in at 4. the lady boss said it would be so not worth it if i were to only work 4 hrs. so she asked me to stay till 9 to cover the hr i missed. and wad's the best thing? normally 8-9 is nothing becos by 8.30 we would prepare to close and only one person is needed. that explains y i always finish work at 8pm. aint she nice? then i told her about exams and attachment, she told me to tell her if i needed get off for studying and she agreed to let me work 6-9 during my attachment. and she got worried if the pay is gonna be too little if i work for so little hrs. hahahas! aint she nice? omg! i love this job!

each and everyday i find myself getting more and more mesmerised by you. corrupted mind.

i have a date on tuesday!! hees. =)

-= a state of confusion =-

2006-08-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

i'm in a state of confusion i dunno wad is happening...
chin nan msged funny funny things, weird and confusing...
why does it always have to be so confusing?
in any other outings, if there's both of them at the same time i don think i wan to be involved again.
things are getting a little too confusing for me to understand.
when i gave you a chance 3 years ago, you told people it's totally impossible. then i was being labelled as a fool. then i gave up. you chase up. i don understand why. now you're telling me u regret giving me the pair of shoes as birthday present two years ago? becos the old saying goes that if u give the person u like a pair of shoes he or she would 'run away' with other people.
if this saying is true, then sorry, it has came true.
stop pondering why i stopped being nice to you.
stop pondering why i am so close to yingtao.
stop asking why.
because u chose things to happen this way.
guys, if there was a chance, grab it. please do not wait till every glimpse of hope is gone, when she gets tired of everything, she gives up, you feel that u've lost something in life then u start trasuring wad was there for you. WAS.

AND YOU!!
we got angry, we got jealous, we lost control of our temper.
for the first time.
why? for the first time i have to throw my temper at you and feel regretful, remorseful.
we cleared things almost quickly cos we were both feeling too hurt.
you ignored me, i cried.
you apologised because u thought i was ignoring you.
i walked out on you and u felt hurt.
but, WHY?
the question is why do u have to act that way?
xia darling say u were jealous, i agree. and i figured it's the case.
you apologised, we smiled. everything was cleared.
i felt apologetic towards you too. cos i couldn't control my emotions there and then.
u told jeerin u wouldnt bully me and u said u gave ur best to me.
u said u had to put ur pride aside to apologise to me.
u said u could jolly well don't apologise.
but u did anyway.
i cannot figure wad is going on in ur mind.
who am i to you?
thats the critical question i really want to know.
a fren? someone more than a fren? someone u like?
or just like any other girls u have revolving around you?
u corrupted my mind piggie!
i'm so caught by you i wake up thinking of you. sleep with you as my last though of the day.
will this work out? or will it just sizzle off and we would remain as best of friends always? just like everyone think we are best buds?
hahahas. how dramatical.

lake house was nice.
it was the company that count. =)
thanks my piggie majesty. i love you.

xia, xian, yan and ezah darlings are all working already. i'm the only one stuck in poly still trying to struggle through those times with exams and projects.
darlingsssss.... jia you!!! i love u gals LOADS!
i cannot imagine my life without u gals by me.
saturday!! camoe canoe canoe!! loves! =)
i wanna go watch fireworks.. DARLssss!! okie dokie?!
muackies!

2006-07-31T09:34:00.000-07:00

╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ z ¦ x ¦ ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Forgive your enemy but rememeber their name says:
at least just now he msg mi asking where r u when u not at home at 10
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
ya lar.. i feel bad now..

***Ying Tao*** ~~ has been added to the conversation.

``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
cos like i know he's worried la.. but then when i came online he say he helping my sister to ask only.
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
yoyo
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
lolz
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
haha
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
wa lau
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
no worried wun call u laioz lor
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
hahahhas!
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
WAT
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
wat wat wat?
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
no worried wun call u laioz lor
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
laioz?
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
wats laioz ?
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
typo la
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
u mean lao ?
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
old ?
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
liao
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
hahaha
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
chey
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
lolz
╚╤◄♥ت♫♪¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯Oº°‘¨ Q ¦ u Y ª ñ ™ ¨‘°ºO¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯♪♫ ♥ Viva... what to say ??!! says:
thought wat lei
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
lolz

and the conversation goes on. HOW PAISEH I WAS LA!! OMG. but nevertheless, i think he did care.

to xia: why does it seems to me that aftrer that day, we drifted?? sorry if i made u felt left out or wad. but seriously i do care. and u noe wad? no one else can take over that special best fren place in my heart.... is it me thinking too much or is it really that u are angry with me?? hais. i hope u are not. i really do miss you. loves. =)

-= smiles =-

2006-07-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

the conversation goes:

``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
hahahas. sometimes wanna ask u anything also tnk to myself.. no need ask la!! cos i noe the answer. hahas
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
lolz
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
cos i veri green vegetable rite??
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
oooooooh. like real.
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
ur answers are.
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
see how 1st. see how lo. see how. dunno. tell u again.
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
:P
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
but in the end still everything go the way u wanted
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
issit??
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
ya lor
``joycie`` - `philosophizing:` says:
u say only mah.. how come i dun feel it? hahahhas!!
***Ying Tao*** ~~ says:
:P

thats him. and i dunno y. this conversation made me smiled to myself. it seems to me i really always get anything i wanted upon request to him. =) thanks piggie.

-= update update... =-

2006-07-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

it's been days since i last blogged. wasn't feeling very well lately. tired-ness.
lethargic.
yesterday went to meet my darlings at plaza.
was trapped in the rain.
joycie never had an umbrella with her.
those who know her, knows this. hahas
supposed to meet xia darl at 2pm, but she's late, so was trapped at bus stop.
supposed to meet yan at 3pm, but she's also late.
the bus stop was so cramp with people and so i decided to go to any void deck to wait till xia comes.
and i ended up at a chairless void deck.
the wind blew.
it was cold.
the rain poured.
i felt helpless.
i msged xia and yan darls they said they would come soon.
i felt so bored i msged him.

he replied me: see how ok? when i reach home if they haven reach i bring umbrella to you.

haha. real piggie.
to you:
我找不到很好的原因去阻挡这一切的亲密
这感觉太奇异
我抱歉不能说明
我相信这爱情的定义奇迹会发生...
也不一定... =)

默默在你的身后守侯的我
多想看你不经意的笑容
或许我的心你不懂
我会努力让你感动
在你眼中有多么笨拙的我
决不放弃追逐你的执著
只要你能再多些回应我一个笑或点头全接受
能不能再靠近一点点
大声说出你所有感觉
别再紧紧关在只有自己的世界
温暖太阳为你迎接
能不能再靠近一点点
能不能再勇敢一点点
就算让我知道我永远只是单恋
我也会藏着感谢笑着和你说再见 =)

i met ezah yesterday!!! i met xia!! i met yan!! i met xian!! and i met him.
i miss ah ma. i miss xiao gu. i miss my cuzzies.
next week i shall go find them.
i'm blessed with these people in life.
loves. =)

next week would be slack yet busy. exams are coming already. i shall pull up my socks.
oh yes. my attachment is at shenton way.
MYSIS International Finance company.
well, i hope it's gonna be fine. i wish my dearest the toes the best too. =)
all of us would pull it through for our ITP.
will we be choosing the same major my darls?

this coming saturday im going to take my one star canoeing course with xia and ezah. i can't wait. =)

-= i love pocky =-

2006-07-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

i realised i've been eating pocky pocky ocky and pocky these days.
everyday.
it's like a everyday dosage of life.
i love it man.
especially when our school co-op is having this promotion of 2 packets at 1.70.
everyone is seing me with pocly these days without fail.
tmr is ief class and i will hafta get ready my pocky if not i'd fall asleep.
POCKY!!!

im totally enlightened by erika all over again. she always know wad are the things to say to make me go YES YES YES. and she says it to the point. right at the main points. which makes me go... yeah baby.. thanks babe! =)
the toes rock my life. sam, if u could stop abandoning us for our gatherings. loves. =)
pastamania today with the toes, sam-less but with xian and ethel, it was great!! =)
marinara was great.

work was fine. the lady boss is oh so great.
my colleagues always fill me in with travel details. im thrilled.

my darlings ate dinner with me. i love them to bits. u gals rock my life.
dedicated to xia: darl, we're always here for you no matter wad okies??? we dun lie to you. we love you!! at least, u must know that i do love you. muackies!
I MISS EZAH DARLING!!

joyce dearie. lunch soon please? loves. =)

zZz.. tmr is wednesday. and i look forward. =)

-= screwed =-

2006-07-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

the project was kinda screwed, but well, it's over. cheerios erika. i love ya! =)

i wanna thank those who stood by me throughout.
thanks piggie for coming to school just to keep me accompany and calm me down from those flusters of not getting done with the project. thanks alot.
and i made you wait from 11am to 4pm. thanks alot.
other than thanking you, there's like nothing else i can say.
ur affirmation of u being there always make me smile.
ur presence just brighten my day.
ur every affirmative hug makes me feel secure.
ur smiles, all ur stupid actions, make me realise how much i've fallen for you.
y do u still insist on not telling me anything?? when everything is just oh-so-obvious?

today i told him i feel like bursting into tears.
he told me: cry lor, i'll wipe ur tears for you.
and all he did was a smile and a lovely hug to assure he's always there.

i'm so acting on impulse today i wanna just declare to the whole world i've fallen for you. and i've decided to say this piggie's name after days of blogging with the nick of piggie. thanks yingtao. for everything u did. =)

-= 触电 =-

2006-07-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

触电

风走在我们前面甩裙摆画着圆圈
花美得兴高采烈那香味有点阴险
你在我旁边的旁边
但影子却肩碰肩
偷看一眼你的唇边是不是也有笑意明显
明明是昨天的事情怎么今天我还在经历
一丁点回忆都能惊天又动地
想问个愚蠢问题我们再这样下去
你猜会走到哪里
但请你不要太快揭开还沉默的情话
先让我多着急一下再终于等到解答
太容易的爱故事就不耐人回味啦
像这样触电就够我快乐熔化
我们就耐心培养萌芽不要急着开花
反正有长长的日记等我们去填满它
在被全世界发现以前先愉快装傻
就这样触电
一直甜蜜触电
直到爆炸
像一年四个季节都被你变成夏天
我才会在你面前总是被晒红了脸
像一百万个秋千在我心里面叛变
被你指尖碰到指尖我瞬间就被荡到天边

have been looking for the lyrics. finally found. nice song. i like. =)

-= my darlings, my sugars =-

2006-07-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

my darlings are my sugars in life.
i cannot do without them any moment in life. =)
went to xian's darl house for mahjong, and it was great, with our lao da!
hees... piggie didn't come this time round. he's tired. understandable! =)

arhhhh... i'm blessed with great darlings, great people in life. =)
even if i may not be a relationship, i'm really loved by all of u.

dedicated to darling xia: darling, i know u've been tnking u're fickled minded. but u know wad? i think u're not being fickled minded, u're just falling in for him, yet at the same time holding something else back. that makes u step back. feel urself deep within. know wad u really wan. sometimes, holding back too much can hurt u more than u step forth to look for something else better. alrightey? no matter wad, u haf us. loves. LOADS! muackies! =)

to that someone whom never fails to make me smile: thanks for coming down to look for me at harbour front despite the fact u were already very tired. u always want to make me smile with ur decreeds, my dearest majesty king. it seems to many others that u're being very demanding, but i know i'm the demanding one. seeing u came all the way down straight after school, touched me. and u were supposed to go somewhere else i know, cos ur grandma called. piggie, u're appreciated, greatly. everything u do, everything, makes me smile. i wanna thank you for so worrying for me all the time, and i hope my mind get as corrupted as ever, just thinking of you. loves.

jeerin asked: jie, he wouldnt read ur blog meh?
actually, i think u read. all the time. it gets obvious, but i don't mind keping things the way we are, no strings attached, no commitments, yet loving. =)

I MISS EZAH DARLING!!!

-= =) =-

2006-07-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

in times of need, in times of pain,
in times of sadness,
u stood by me.
u cheer me.
u are always there for me.
u do all the things in the world that make me smile.
u're my everything.
thanks piggie. for everything. =)

and my darlings, as usual, my darlings rule!! muackies

it's mahjong time, i gotta go. bubbye everyone! =)

-= i like the movie =-

2006-07-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

第一次看着你就为你心动聪明的我怎能让你走
第二次看见你我竟然失控是我的错请你原谅我
第三次看见你想要告诉你我真的爱你是真的爱你
第四次看着你我有些要求请你能够安安静静的聆听
一.让我保护你
二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离
说你愿意
那最后一个一定要说你愿意
want be your lover want be your man
我只希望给你多一点
我只要你开心多一点
can you be my lover don"t wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天
给你幸福到永远
因为我want be your lover want be your man
说你害怕因为受过伤
不需要害怕
因为我不是他

nice song!! =) i like..~

sorry for the misunderstanding.
i don't deny the fact that girls are always OVERSENSITIVE.
thank piggie.
yet again, for all the understandings.
may i love you?

pirates of the carribean is nice!! good show~ =)

-= ouch. =-

2006-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

if it's wat ezah said to be a psychological test to see my reaction,
then OUCH. yes it did hurt. quite badly.
wounded.

anyway, i knew this would be coming.
well, i'm still that unwanted mimosa. as ever.
leave me alone.
thank you.

now i'm pondering if i wan to go for the movie.
mayb being single and carefree is still the best idea.

***wounded.

-= the enlightenment =-

2006-07-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

erika enlightened me today.
i got wad she meant and i noe wad i should do.
she said to me: actually, as long as my body language shows that i'm there for him, i like him, i care for him more than i do for others, his body language goes to show the same, even there isnt any clarifications, it is obvious then why the need to say i love you? if it's like obvious and it's not as if both parties dunno, just that they want to act blur then by all means. there is no need to tell the whole world he's my bf or she's my gf. it's the feeling that counts. status is nothing.

thanks darling. i think i know wad u mean and i'm enlightened..! =) perhaps, that should be the way for the time being. and jas darl told me this before: everything has its time to come.
maybe it will come, maybe it will never come again. i can wait.

i think i broke a person's heart today. it's like karma u noe. while i broke someone's someone has to break mine. wad goes around comes around...

congratulations joyce dearie!! i told u it was coming!! love ya loads!! show me him soon!! loves! =)

i'm meeting ezah darling at my workplace tmr! i cant wait to see her yet again. =)

my mind is corrupted. if piggie sees this line, i know he'd know wad i mean. corrupted corrupted!!!

-= tell me why and teach me how =-

2006-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

tell me why is it so hard to understand another person?
teach me how to get to you.

it's sad to know it's our hearts we dun wanna feel.
it's sad to know it's our own feelings we cannot trust.

tell me u care, show me the love.

u're appreciated. =)

2006-07-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

=)
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-07-16T09:08:00.001-07:00

nice.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-07-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

taken by him. =) i like this pic.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-07-16T09:07:00.001-07:00

yet again.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-07-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

my smiles.
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= sorry piggie!! =-

2006-07-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

i'm really sorry, piggie.
i didn't expect that to happen. am really sorry.
apologise to ur frens for me. dui bu qi. =(
u can choose not to ask me along for any of ur gatherings anymore.
even though i'm not the attitude one.
wad kind of first impression ur frens have already, and i feel so malign.
hais. i'm just so sorry.

a happy day.
but it turned out bad.
we were fine and then u went quiet.
i dunno.
perhaps this will change everyting all over again.

why is it just so difficult to get things right?

yes i like you, CAN?!

-= i love this saturday =-

2006-07-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

first of all, i've signed up for canoe first star and we are going for the course on the 5th and 6th of august.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOTCE DEARIE!!
lunch at nydc was great and i love meeting you!! hoped u liked the sunflower and hope u'd haf a sweet 19!! loves great loads!! muackies!!

i love my piggie~
i love xia darl.
i love ezah darling.
i love yan darl.
i love xian darl.
i love joyce dearie.

i just love everyone!! loves!!! muackies!!! =)
im gonna haf mahjong session later with my darlings at xian house. yet again..
lols!!!
piggie gonna send me home!!! loves him loads! =)
thanks for everything my darlingssss!!!!

im loved. im blessed. u all are my everything!=)

2006-07-14T19:48:00.000-07:00

the toes!!! taken in may... grabbed from sam's frenster.. lols.. loves!
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= blessed =-

2006-07-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

i'm blessed to have my darlings.
ezah.xia.xian.yan.joyce dearie.the toes.
u all rock my life.
it was kinda bad just now. the down-ness and the short tempered me.
then it was all okay again after getting all the tolerating from xia darl.
the msges from joyce dearie on tmr's plan at nydc.
xian and yan to stand by me and listening to my breaking down.

you, who never fail to make me feel comforted and loved.
i told him, i dare not be upset in front of my darlings.
no matter how sad, i try to cheer up in front of them. cos i dun wan my mood to affect others.
and he told me this: then u can be sad in front of me.
i'm touched. thanks piggie! =)
even though he has to work tomorrow evening, and he has a course in the morning in sch, he wanted to meet me. so i integrated him into meeting joyce dearie. can i say i don't deny the fact that u make me like you more and more day by day?

i thought u held her hand, and i was so upset the whole day. then u kept denying the fact that u felt that it was nothing at all. u kept defending urself that u only lead her across the road and nothing else. but it hurt me so much to hear u say u felt it was nothing at all. until u told me this: actually, i din even hold her hand, i only held her by her elbow to run across the road.
it felt so much better and then i smiled.

xia darling said u would only hold my hand. and she says u treat me indifferently. is that so?? xia darl is always right inher intuition and her judgements. well, i hope it's right too!!

tmr xia darl will help me sign up for sea sports! thanks so much for the trouble! i love u gals!! meet u all after u all sign up sea sports!! loves!! =)
ezah seems upset today. dun be. i think i can figure wat went wrong.. u always have us my dear!! =)

joyce dearie!! u're my sweetie pie! nydc awaits us! loves! =)

-= 眼泪我会替自己擦 =-

2006-07-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

我只想再哭一下下...
眼泪我会替自己擦...

yes i had a bad day.
seems like i might as well marry FCM (Frosted Chocolate Malt).
it seems to be the only thing on earth that never fails to make me smile.
turtle makes nemo smile.
stars made prawn smile.
FCM makes me smile.

sometimes, not knowing many things will be better off.
stop being a curious cat and then get killed out of the bag.

FCM, will u be mine forever? say yes please.

random.rubbish.thatsme.

fuck off if u noe nuts about me, fuck off if all u wan is to quarrel with me whenever u see me! and i've been late home lately, today was exceptional cos i promised jeerin to be home early. i regretted rejecting the mahjong offer from xia darl. fuck off man! life isnt life when i'm at a home that isnt even a home! i just hate you, do u noe that? 21years old is my vision, my goal! so then i can be outta this living hell!!!

-= sweet darlings =-

2006-07-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

i started off with a bad day. but it ended off sweet. very sweet... =)

jasmine told me this on the way out of school. "darling ah... i feel so blessed with u all with me. i feel like we are a family and i feel so loved with u all." THE TOES!!! thats me.jas.camen.erika.sam. i love u gals lots too!! without u all, i wouldnt feel motivated to go to school. and u gals helped me out alot in times of needs..!! thanks.. and i love every bit of u gals! muackies! =)

we weren't supposed to meet today actually. but somehow he finished his project at 5pm. and i finish my ief tutorial at 5pm too! and saw we met at the bus stop to take bus together. heading to buit panjang. =) hees. he made my day even better after wad jas had told me. he never fail to make me smile, and yes, he's my smiles. =) saw andrew leong on the bus also. he poked me on the waist! it was like WTH ok? and then i turned around with the shocked face realising it was him who did that action to me. then i turned ard to tell piggie that he's andrew. and he reacted weirdly and suddenly we were like oh-so-close. and then i could see how pissed off that stupid andrew was. well, i think u need to know that i've gotten over you long ago and HE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN U OH-SO-MANY-WAYS. cast me ur envious looks!! =)

then lixia darling is still my dearest!!! she knows i had a bad day and she met me just to treat me frosted chocolate malt from swensens!!! omg! ain't she sweet?? this is wad made up my day totally!!! i love u loads my precious! no one knows me better than u do!! =) darling, i love you. times when u feel that no one loves you, and no one is there for you, always know that i'm right here for you. loves!! i'd stand by you just like u never fail to be by me. =)

wad makes the ice cream even better was, it was scooped and well prepared by piggie who was working, and served to me by my dearest Zixian darling!!! omg! ain't that the best thing ever?! and then i had Camen darl with me eating the ice cream! FROSTED CHOCOLATE MALT, my favourite ice cream, the thing that never fail to make me smile, treated by lixia darling, great company of her and Camen, prepared and made by piggie, served by Xian! well, COMBO. i'm just so loved!!

then lixia darling did another thing that was OH-SO-SWEET!!!! she bought the BIG turtle from mini toons for xian darl! cos she's so shacked and so tired with work and she was starting to feel pissed off and everything.. and we gave her the turtle she loves so muchie. she smiled. u noe, it's the little things we do for each other, the little smiles that make us love each other more and more!! =)

ain't xia sweeet? yes she is and we love you my sweets! =)

piggie said how come xian pissed off in work can get turtle, and he has nothing from me! lols~ i bought u chocolate yesterday, i bought u herbal teas whenever u had bad days at work!! but i hadnt surprised her yet!! so, even le hor! loves my piggie!! =) tmr is our date!! bleh!! =)

joyce dearie, lunch on sat! ur bday!! loves! =)

i'm soooo loved. even though we haven clarify anything. even though we didn't say anything. even though you and i remain so close. no status, no clarifications. but i'm enjoying every minute of it, every smiles of urs and every little things u do for me means alot for me. thanks piggie! =)

-= simplicity =-

2006-07-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

i just want everything to be simple.
i just want u and me to be simple.
it seems so complicated suddenly.
i don't want to think that i made the wrong choice.
what is all these? arghs!!
yups, thursday is our date! =) i'm looking forward to it.
when will things change?
i dunno.

yuhong msged to say i wasn't in lecture again.
then i realised it's been so long since i met him.
i kinda miss him alot i realised. lols.
yups, tang yuan next week and i shall see him tomorrow for lunch.
i miss those tang yuan days! =) soon soon.
looking forward. and updates please!!? =)

i asked sisters samantha, huiqi and zhihua for dinner on next saturday!
i miss them so muchie!
it's been some time since we last met!!
looking forward to it!!
updates updates!!! loves my sisters!! =)

tomorrow is pmkt presentation. wish me luck.

i love my darlings. great loads! =)

-= ! love, lurve, luv, you~ =-

2006-07-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

he's the one. i don't have the courage to say.
i really like him.
every single bit.

weeks ago, i was in a dilemma where i was stuck between the two.. him and chin nan.
now, i have the definite answer.
there is no more stuckin between.
and i'm declaring chin nan outta this pic totally.
u're out!
u don't have to ask why. becos u're so...
oh-not-very-gentlemen.
like a wild boar!! u turned me off totally over these few days.
i hate ur attitude problem.
and u definitely dun have to show it to me and all everyone else if u're not in a good mood.
ur sarcasm, ur crude-ness.
it definitely did contribute to my decision-making alot.
i don't need someone who needs me to send lunch all the way to his doorstep and get locked out.
i don't need someone who doesnt care how much pain i'm in when i sprained that damn shoulder.
i need no non-constructive comments all the time when we are watching soccer.
i don't need your crude comment on how i'm allergic to capsicum.
i don't need you to emphasize how u're angry when i'm close to him.
anyway, thanks to urself that u're so out of the picture and i'm not gonna feel guilty for being mean to you, and i'm quite sure u're a ill-mannered, brainless freak, a 26 year old that acts like a 13 year old. how sad. pathetic!

this is the one i need:
**he who would drive to anywhere i want for supper. who would promise to bring me to places where he knows i would like to dine in. at least i don't get locked out of the door. would u all want someone to send lunch for u all? or sent to people and get locked out?
**he who is so woried over my infected eye. so worried about that damn sprained-shoulder. he who would massage me and make me feel more relieved over the pain. he who would make sure i go to the doc. would u all want someone who says u're oh-so-clumsy, take laptop also can sprain ur shoulder, or someone who don't care how u caused it, just worried how pain u are?
**he who would support whatever teams i'm interested in. he who would even chipped in to share the bets with me even though he knows the team might not win? just to accompany me and make me feel supported. someone who likes to criticise everything u say about something over a team, or someone who is so supportive of watever u do?
**he who got so panicky when he saw the capsicum in the steamboat and get so worried that my allergy effect would come. he would ask me not to worry, if i vomit all the food out, he's gonna bring me out to buy supper. anything i would want. anywhere i would wan to go. he who look into my eye and asked me u ok? he who bothers to buy me fishball soup, open it up in a bowl and prepare the chilli while i was bathing. or that someone who comment that i am just faking it all? and as long as i don't think i would vomit then i would not? hello uncle, let me get this clear with u, i also wouldnt like vomitting all my stomach and lungs out with the stupid allergy effect of capsicum.
**he who didn't deny i'm his gf when alvin asked AGAIN last night. in front of lee chin nan. it's like if i don't remember wrongly, lee chin nan would always tell the whole world, WE ARE IMPOSSIBLE ITEMS MAN!! TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. HOW WOULD I LIKE HER?! and then behind the crowds he reacts otherwise. i'm glad i'm so not into you at all.

he asked me if he should choose IAP or IHP. a part of me wants him to take IAP cos his grades are eligible for that and he would get paid for that. but IHP would mean he's gonna be in sch doing project and i can still meet him in school. i told him IAP, then i changed my mind to say IHP in a joking manner. he knows the reason y i wan him to choose IHP. but i would think IAP would benefit him more. he told me he's gonna get enlisted in jun next year. omg. thats like quite fast. but it's ok. =) i will wait u noe. cos u're simply irresistable my piggie! =)

after yesterday's steamboat, i gotta realise alot of things. over the weeks and months or years, i've been a total fool. be it u're doing this out of jealousy or not, i don't care. i'm not gonna feel guilty for being too mean to you. for so many times i rejected u for not wanting to watch movies with u, going out with u, letting u send me home. each time i reject u, i feel guilty for making u ask umpteen times. last nite, i totally gave up. feeling guilty was for the sake of saving the frenship bond we share. now, erms. frens? yes. normal frens.

at the steamboat yesterday, they mentioned her. seems like she is always in our world. it's her her her her and her... does he still like her?? i can't help but think she is definitely better than me. if not how come he likes her first in the past? and then now she is inseparable in our world. it makes me feel like i'm snatching other's property. it's stopping me and it is the main cause of not having courage to say anything to you. it's her. u say u're traumatised by her name each time people mentions. u have any idea how traumatised i am also? her. her. her. prettier her, better her. sometimes i wonder how much u appreciate me. sometimes i wonder if u noe i really do care.

love's complicated. i'm puzzled. i need enlightenment.

my enlightenment is my darlingsssss.... love u gals loads! =) darlings, each time i need u all by my side, u all never fail to do so. thanks loads! love is the key to our bond. =) you qing wan sui!!!

dedicated to you and only you:
集中所有力量听你看你等那个讯息
你欠我的讯息你欠答案的
那个问题Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?
你没问我我能回应什么
用眼神说我怕我会听错要不要
继续互相折磨你看我我看著你寂寞手已经围好城堡
心也已经备好浪潮快完成等待完成的拥抱
别说你还没有感觉到我所给你的微笑不只微笑
Love you Love you Yes I love you
你听见了吗这是我第一千遍第一万遍心里的回答
那身边的人经过的人我都不牵挂我只去你想要去的天涯
Love you Love you Yes I love you
你还没听见吗
能不能请你放下放下那愚蠢挣扎
我害怕爱情就像盛开的花一错过
眼泪也没有办法
RAP: 像是一场多么令人
疲倦的游戏只剩下一步却举棋不定
我早就输了你却不相信你会赢看你一直苦笑叹息
我想帮忙我好著急爱情爱情
真伤感情两个人僵在这里两颗心悬在那里
时间时间就快没有时间
我们越来越像朋友而已手已经围好城堡
心也已经备好浪潮快完成等待完成的拥抱
别说你还没有感觉到我所给你的微笑不只微笑
Love you Love you Yes I love you
你听见了吗
这是我第一千遍第一万遍心里的回答
那身边的人经过的人我都不牵挂我只去你想要去的天涯
Love you Love you Yes I love you
你还没听见吗
能不能请你放下放下那愚蠢挣扎
我害怕爱情就像盛开的花一错过眼泪也没有办法
Love you Love you
Yes I love youLove you Love you
Yes I love youLove you Love you
Yes I love youLove you Love you
Yes I love youLove you Love you
Yes I love you~~~

.i flunk that AAA online test.

2006-07-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

i flunk the test. yes! oh man.. nah.. not that i give a damn about it though. i's only 5% please.

i sprained my wrists. ='( first was the eye, then the wrist... next would e the leg i presume. arghs!

he's sweet. he's just oh-so-sweet. yet he doesn't belong to me. lols.
yes, we're all meeting tmr. =) yeps. him too. =)
happy? yes, of course. it's darlingssss day. =)
lovely. muackies! =)

-= boo!! =-

2006-07-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

lack of sleep..
portugal lost...
that irritating penalty kick...
not gonna watch finals... i happen to not support both italy and france..
hais...
IS day is always relaxing, i like. =)
met yvette, it's been some time since we talked. i miss her i realised.

had a bad day. HAD.

he's like so sweet. he really is... at first he told me he would come to the booth to support.. ok, i mean he didnt promise, but he said see first. and he never had disappointed me if he could.. but he msged me and said that he's at blk 50 and he's tired to walk so far... and then he told me he is gonna be busy this evening he cannot accompany me to west mall M1 customer service centre. i was disappointed. i dunno why did i send him something so attitude. i replied him: nvm.

ok, after sending it i think i just gave an attitude to him.
he didn't reply anymore.
in my mind, i was thinking, guys wouldnt be as sensitive as girls, so he wouldnt think that i am angry anyway.. i mean, not angry, but disppointed.

5pm... after lesson, was sitting at blk 56 to try and settle the IS experiment thingy...
he called.
i picked up and he asked where am i...
then i said i'm at 56, y??
he asked if i'm still going west mall. i said yes.
and then he came over...
he told me he's meeting his fren at aljunied at 8pm. omg! that is like far and how come the fren meet so late?? he didn't say he changed the timing with his friend just to meet me. but i know. cos he stumbled when i asked how come his fren meet so late!!!
then he told me: i haf spare time now so i go with you lor..
and i got a little angry... so i said to him he can go home, he don't haf to go like as if i forced him to..
then he smiled. his smile never fail to make me happy, well, from the smile i knew he changed the timing. and i felt rather happy.
then on the bus, he joked and teased: somebody angry with me sia...
i felt embarrssed and i denied... then he said he could feel from the sms i sent earlier on.
ok, i dunno. but i felt that was sweet. cos i thought he wouldnt be sensitive enough to feel it?
well, i dunno.. i really dunno...
i'm just happy. i got the feeling of being pampered and loved? =P

he don't want me to meet HIM to get the steamboat stuffs... i dunno why.. was thinking anyway bear would be there, but he strongly hinted that i should just go home after work tmr and not meet them at plaza. hmmm... y do u care? lols.

he promised to bring me to suki sushi next thurs... =)
thanks for always being there whenever i needed it. i appreciate you detouring from clementi to bukit batok then to aljunied.. thanks piggie! loves... =)

erms. saturday!!! everyone's gonna have a gathering on saturday.. it's darlingsss day again!! and we're gonna watch recycle!! hurray!! i cant wait to see YAN darling!! and i miss EZAH!!!!

saw this book at popular just now... omg! i'm gonna get it when i get my pay...~ 1,000 places to visit before you die. oh man!! i hafta get that book! lols. =)

i really love my darlingsss... and i'm kinda feeling life taking on the better side... xia.ezah.xian.xia.bear.turtle.cherry. many many!! hees. simply love!! u all love sotong also rite??? muackies!! =)

thanks the toes also.. camen.jas.sam.erika. thanks my sugars!! always there when i need help in sch work. thanks erika sweets!! she helped me a great loads for my ec!!! i love u girls loads!! muackies!! =)

where is joyce dearie??!

for many many reasons, i can also be a happy girl. =)

sweet & lovely =-

2006-07-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

after work, tired, eyes pain....
dragged my feet to the mrt station,
on the way home...
that doraemon message alert rang.......
lethargically, i took out the phone...
and it felt so sweet...
he's like my guardian angel..
it's a simple msg yet it brightened me up..
i smiled and i really felt so good...

"how's ur eye? got put med mah?"

it touched my heart,
it melted me.
y must u always be so nice?
y must u always be that good to me?
u know, it's like 2days i din see you
and i'm so missing you.
i need you alot,i realised.
miss you miss you miss you miss you~!!
meet me please?! soon please?

the job is good. and i like it.. i get to experienced something i dun get to before... developing photos, dealing with films, the process and everything. it's just so nice... easy and i think i can cope well with it.

I MISS EZAH!!!

although Germany may be good.. but PORTUGAL PLEASE WIN THE WORLD CUP!!
lols...~

i'm so gonna do my pmkt project outline now so that i can watch my match at 3am.. and i'm so gonna be tired because i don plan to sleep. and i'm so gonna be dead cos my eye would be even worse by then. it's ok.

saturday steamboat, is it gonna be disastrous? i dunno.

-= i.can.wait. =-

2006-07-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

first day of work at the kodak shop. it was great! i think i can cope with it. and i'm so hoping it to be a long term part time job for me. =) i will do it. go joycie go!!

.random.
he was so angry today.
he was so agitated.
he was so irritated.
i've never seen him curse and swear that many times in a day.
i wanna see u smile, piggie. =)
smile!! =)
and i gonna see u on wed
i hope. hees.

actually, i think i can wait.
and i'm waiting. i'm willing to wait.
lixia darl says to gif u more time.
actually, all the time in the world my dear. =)

portugal please win the world cup. =)

-= i really do =-

2006-07-02T03:59:00.000-07:00

soccer matches have been nice at zixian's house up till now... all the fun, all the oooooohhs and ahhhhs..... all the goal!! and all the yes!!! it's just so nice... it's nice cos of the company... i love my darlings loads... really loads.. truck loads...~
lixia.ezah.zixian.qiuyan. u gals make me wanna kudos to our frenship!!! 8years and counting.... =)
not forgetting to mention world's best creation ever... prawn.salty fish.bear.turtle.cherry.sotong.
u guys are the best. stepped into my life, and created wonders...

he is oh-so-sweet. he's my smiles. my everything. always there for me. never fail to get anything i wanted. those sweetness, those closeness, those smiles, those gestures, the everything. ur care, ur concern, ur oh-i-dunno-if-it's-love attitude, ur smiles, ur everything. the willingness to always be there for me. my dependence. the so needing you. the feeling of just wanting to see you. the feeling of just wanting to be by ur side. the late night soccer matches. the late night mahjong sessions. those sweet words. those swet gestures. the hugs. the touches. EVERYTHING. is this wat we call friendship? or is this something more than friendship? is this what we call love? or is this something less than love? is there chenmistry? or am i just so used to ur presence in life? is this you needing me and me needing you? or is this just some other flings? is there something holding me back? or is there something holding u back? phobia of love.

i just want to say that it's so complicated, it's so getting complicating every minute of my day. everyone else has eyes to se we ain't just friends. alvin and felicia asked are we together? haha. i dun even noe the answer!! cos i'm also unsure if we are.
the normal meetings, just like friends would do normally. but the everything else is oh-so-couple. i like you, or rather, i really do like you. pardon me for not liking to use the word i love you. because i dunno how true is those words. i like you so much that i don't mind doing anything just for you, even if it means to going the extra mile of getting u a bottle of herbal tea just because u are coughing. it also goes the other way round that u would make the extra mile to just do something i want. whatever i demand, whatever i ask for, you'd do ur best, i know. is this friendship? probably.

u bringing me for dinner gathering with ur best friend and his gf, ur reason being u dun wanna be a light bulb, and wan me to be there to replace his gf's being bullied by you. resonable. acceptable. but ur fren said to his mum i'm ur gf and u din retaliate! am i supposed to not think otherwise? nice korean restaurant, nice ambience, u just know i like it. ur bestie knowing every bit of me, knowing alot of things about me because u definitely haf told him alot, or is he some genius he just happened to know about me? u mentioning so much to ur fren about me, is this just normal? or am i thinking too much? u not wanting to let me return u the money for the bill cos u said u wanted to treat me. u're like always that nice.

u holding my hand when we cross busy roads. yar, busy road, thats why. i always tell myself that. u looking me into the eye and asking me if i felt better on my infected eye. u driving out at late nights because i complain i'm hungry. we getting so close all the time, u hugging me in horror movies. you quareling and bickering with me because we are so hating each other mentioning ur past and my past. u counting how many times i had mentioned about her. and u lecturing me on how i shouldn't have told turtle about her. u telling ur bestie how irritating i am always mentioning her as ur best friend. ur favourite fren. u telling me u already drawn that line between u and her. me telling u how irritating u are to keep mentioning about him. how i so hate you mentioning him to others and telling me that maybe he is also a good choice. me hitting you and staring at you with u mentioning him. u and i acting oh-so-close when he's like just beside us? were u acting? or were u trying to show it to him too? him getting oh so angry and left straight away after the match. still friends? buddies? brotherhood? sisterhood?

if we are just friends, would we please keep things the way as friends should be? if we are just buddies, should we just be buddies? i really don't mind we remaining like that. more than friends, less than lover. it's probably just the status. you need not clarify that status with me. but all i wan to know... is... do we feel the same? or am i just thinking too much? let nature takes its course u once told me.... sometimes i wonder if it's cos i'm not good enough, not ur type? u just want me as a friend we can both depend on each other? it's been so long... it's ben years, and we are still revolving around all these questions.... i really dunno how... i dare not mention this issue to you, i dun hav the courage to do it once again. for i am quite disturbed with wat u've told prawn. i dunno if i should take it for real, or i should just take it for the fact that u weren't truthful while answering her? all the signals are getting clearer. we are getting closer each day, really close. a couple without the real status that is.

i really do, like you. in fact, i need you more than anything else. u motivate me in every way. something i haven been able to find in others. i've been waiting for a particular someone, and suddenly i realised that someone has always been by me. qiuyan told me, after revolving and going in circles for years, i'm back to square one when i onced declared to them i liked you, without you knowing. but lose you to someone, yet see you get hurt, feeling so guilty for ur hurt, then the recuperating process, the back to you process and u being the one i used to know, and the one i used to like in the past. and realising i still like you, and i can no longer deny that anymore.

don't make me deny the fact that i like you. i will wait. let nature takes its course. actually, i'm loving every bit of what we share, what we did together. all of you. i'm loving the way we are as now. i really do. cos u are the person whom i'm so willing to open up with, and not letting the word phobia affect me much. stay the way we are and i love you.

2006-06-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

nice... loves... illogicall cuckoos and birdies...... the love, the bond.. redang june'2006
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:04:00.001-07:00

the gang... the illogical cuckoos.... the powerpuff powers and mojojojo..... lols.. loves loads!!
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

powerful nemo prawn and sotong 1-10 lols
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:03:00.001-07:00

when sotong, prawn and nemo untie.... it's love.
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

me and xian darling..... wooo.. i love her loads.... redang 19.06.06
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:02:00.001-07:00

me and xia darling.. my prawn.... loves loads loads... redang 19.06.06
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

me and yingtao... my piggie-look-a-like-cherry.... my smiles. =) redang 19.06.06
``__saYs cheesE__``

-= infected eye vampire =-

2006-06-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

left eye infected... tearing every seconds... red and sore... cornea scarrred... i'm the infected eye vampire... lols...

yesterday watched campus ghost stories at cineleisure with xia yan xian and yingtao darls.. omg! they said it's nice cos of me. those effects, those screams and those laughs.. lols... ok.. sorry... i make alot of noise in the show but i made constructively to make u all laugh ok... lols.... =P thanks for the company... i love u people loads...

-i dunno i dunno... between love and friendship, please flip a coin and decide....~-

2006-06-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

tell me why...
tell me why am i...
tell me why am i so...
tell e why am i so unwanted???

heartbroken. u're a heartbreaker. just like everyone else.

-= wat? =-

2006-06-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

why must u always push me to others like i'm just so unwanted?
while all other flowers around me bloomed and get picked, i'm still that unwanted mimosa.

-= good day? =-

2006-06-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

2 pieces of good news. results for common tests so far so good. and i got a job. i'm so happy. at least for now i need not worry for money anymore. it goes to mean i have to cope with studies and the perm part time job from now on.... i can do it! =)

had dinner with darlings at delifrance.. not bad.. =) the company was great!
afternoon went harbour front, nancy, qin and camen. not bad also.. but had to rush back sch for the sco interview.
oh yar! good job ky and sq! hope for the best! =)

i dunno i dunno. i love ya. blehh! =)

-= trapped =-

2006-06-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

i don understand why i am still so trapped in the past.... is it a phobia?? what kind of phobia is that??! wat the hell? arghs! and i really didn't feel good when i saw them at the concert just now. they were like sitting right in front of me..... and SHE turned, saw me and gave the most unglam expression ever.. oh man!! i haven even got angry with u for snatching HIM away 3years ago! so hard so that i want to lose contact with you, it's just so difficult! like i went to this concert to support ur sister... and ur mum met me to pass me the tix... and ur dad was like smiling so radiantly asking if i had dinner already... i ned to walk away from this past..... u're affecting me alot in life to be frank. actually, i'm quite sure i've gotten over you. it's just that phobia u left in me. perhaps i should try to get rid of this phobia and get a life! non-sensical!!! i don't hate you, but i don't love you anymore too. stop casting me the very guilty look each time our eyes meet.
shuddup joycie!!!

i need to find a part time job.. a permanent part time job.. if not very soon, i will have to live on air..... i need income. everything else except the school fees are listed under my worry list. money please drop from the sky. *like real* anyone has any idea where to get a part time job? a weekend job....

first day of sch was ok... tmr is the SCO interview.... we will have to make it! =) go go ky and sq!! we'll do it! =)

and YOU! another one! stop telling me nonsense, stop being nice to me please? i'm hopeless. i'm so hopeless, so needing u each and everyday. need company, msg you. bored, msg you. need help, msg you. it's you that i need, but it all just seem so impossible. let nature take its course u told me. do u have any idea how it feels like when u always seems too nice to be real? ok. i'm nonsense again. like u always say, if i'm normal i'm not joycie... i'd be joyce A joyce B and not joyce C... how lame! =D let us be good frens always ok? i promise... =)

i'm tired.
i wanna watch recycle.
random.

BECAUSE i need to become pretty so that i don't remain single. BECAUSE i need to get more confidence so that i can get out of my phobia. BECAUSE i'm unwanted. lols.

2006-06-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

unforgettable... when's the next chance?
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-24T23:08:00.001-07:00

=)
``__saYs cheesE__``

2006-06-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

kissing the momo tea man hahahas
``__saYs cheesE__``